For me
by K1975
Summary: Harry has had enough of all that was wrong in his life. Perhaps it was time to do something about it.
1. Chapter 1

**For me**

 **Summary:**

Harry has had enough of all that was wrong in his life. Perhaps it was time to do something about it.

 **Legal Disclaimer:** All of Harry Potter belongs to J. .

 **Rating:** K and above

 **Chapter 1 Saturation**

Harry had had enough. He had enough of being ridiculed and made a victim of his father's mistakes. He wanted out. Hogwarts was supposed to have been his refuge, his sanctuary from the cruelty meted out to him at the Dursley's. But thanks to one Severus Snape, even this had been wrenched away from him.

Between being hunted by Voldemort and barely surviving every summer at the Dursley's Hogwarts had been the only thing keeping him sane. But with the reintroduction of the vengeful occlumency lessons, he knew that he was on the brink of disaster. Perhaps he should just give up, stop fighting and give the foul git what he wants, he thought ruefully. Occlumency had not helped him save Sirius, he thought sadly, not that he and Snape had a good student teacher relationship required for it.

 _Really_ what was the point? Dumbledore had known that they had been at each other's throats all these years. What had given him the confidence that this would work? Forget work, it had been a colossal mistake that had cost Sirius's life.

 _Sirius_ ,.. The very name brought a lump to his throat. He had been the only person in the whole wide world who could have given him a sense of belonging. Now it was only a big gaping hole where his presence was and Harry had no idea if he could ever get over Sirius…probably not he reasoned.

As for Dumbledore, the man was supposed to be the all seeing one…but he was so oblivious to a lot of things the least of which was Severus Snape. It almost made him hate Dumbledore as much as he hated Severus Snape.

Even as these thoughts plagued his already bruised soul, he noticed that he was at the entrance to his potions master's office. It was his time for one more disastrous occlumency lesson, courtesy of Dumbledore. Damn! Why was the headmaster _so_ determined to put him through this excuse for torment he wondered.

With a heavy heart, however he knocked and waited for the acrimonious "enter" to follow. _Really_! If Snape hated this so much the git could just stop these lessons and make the both of them happy. It was not as if they making any progress anyway Harry thought, with a flash of anger.

Much too soon, he heard the dour potions master call out for him to enter. Harry sighed and resigned himself to what he knew would be refined torture for the next hour as he placed his school bag on the floor and waited for his instruction. Nothing so crude as the cruciatus for Snape, Harry mentally cringed.

"You are late Potter! Was it too much to shake off the fan crowd and be on time …well, I guess I should not be surprised" Snape sneered before continuing "after all we know where your arrogance comes from don't we?". Harry inwardly fumed at the unfair accusation and he could not deny that the vitriol in the man's tone cut through him. How could anyone carry so much hate in one's gaze he wondered? He had been late by just one minute for heaven's sake! But then when had Snape needed a legitimate reason to berate him.

"So are you going to practice or stand looking like the dunderhead you are." Snape snapped "Get ready Potter" he said and quickly followed with a shouted " _Legilimens"!_ giving no time for Harry to be prepared.

Harry was dismayed to find that he had let himself be caught unawares yet again, and his heart felt weighted down as the images rushed past. He felt the familiar feelings of sadness and longing to belong, as he saw his younger self being pushed about by the Dursleys.

He was being pushed into the cupboard by a furious Vernon and he felt the fear as if he was all of five again. The scene shifted much too soon in his opinion and he was being locked into a small room with multiple locks and barred windows. He was holding onto the single can of cold soup that he would get that day. Had he been really _that_ thin? And no one had noticed?

The memory brought back the feeling of emptiness that had gnawed at his stomach and he remembered the dizziness that had followed. God! This was embarrassing. It was not as if Snape cared.

He desperately fought to expel Snape from his mind and a dim thought told him that the git probably liked seeing him in pain. Yes, he must be enjoying this…Harry Potter brought to his knees in weakness and pain he thought. But just as soon as the thought rose in his mind he felt Snape retreat and he found himself on his knees on the office floor, panting heavily, his face bathed in sheen of sweat.

"Trust me Potter…seeing your pathetic existence and your clamor for attention does not amuse me at the slightest and neither will it amuse the Dark Lord. Now get up and concentrate!" he spat. Harry fought down the anger that rose within him at the words… _being starved was asking for attention?_ But then this was Snape he reminded himself.

Harry took a deep breath and he stood up only to be hit with the spell again. This time it was even worse as he felt weakened by the last spell and the images came forth even faster.

He saw himself being surrounded by the dementors and heard his mother's screams all over again. He gave a mental shake. What he would give to see her again and be held lovingly by her.

A feeling of deep sadness engulfed him but even before he could fall into it deeply, the memory shifted. He was horrified as he saw himself being tied to the gravestone and felt the blade pierce his arm as though it was happening right then. He once again saw the lifeless body of Cedric splayed at his feet and felt his throat clog up, as the feelings of horror and helplessness rose up in his gut again.

Guilt and horror competed for dominance, as he closed his eyes knowing that he had been responsible for Cedric's death. Maybe he deserved this torture after all, he tried to console himself and somehow, that thought made it all a little more bearable.

He however felt a subtle shift in his mind then and gasped as he stood, blinded by the tears in his eyes. He dimly realized that Snape had released the spell rather abruptly and he was once again on his knees.

This was getting too much. He needed time to recover and heal and this was tearing his wounds open all over again. " _Please stop_ " he croaked and hated the pleading tone that had entered his voice. But he could not go on...it was too much.

"You are wasting my time Potter. If you are not serious about this, you better leave right now" the words came with undisguised contempt. Snape's eye shone with utter derision as he looked down upon Harry's collapsed form "In fact, Hogwarts could do without you wasting our time and I for one would be at peace. You are just like your father Potter, selfish and arrogant expecting the world at your feet. Flash news! The world does not need you…you are nothing special as is obvious right now. It's too bad that the fools out there don't know that" Snape's words burned a hole through Harry's heart.

The words merged in his head …he heard the words of his uncle " _You are nothing but a freak_! A waste of space and how I wish we could be rid of you."And now he was not wanted at Hogwarts either. Panic rose within him _He had nowhere to go!._ His heart was thumping double time and his head felt heavy as the words rang in his ears.

He felt numb as he focused unseeing eyes on Snape .He felt Snape nudge him and then immediately retract his hand as if touching Harry had made him dirty. Something broke in Harry at that moment and he made a quiet decision.

"Would it make you happy Sir?" he asked softly .. "What are you blithering about you dolt? I said get out and leave me in peace" Snape drawled. Harry shuffled forward and looked at Snape with glassy eyes, he _had_ to know. "If I was not here would it make you happy Sir?" he asked again.

Snape exhaled in irritation "Stop being melodramatic Potter and yes I will not regret your absence. _Happy?_ Now leave" he commanded, his attention already going to the sheaf of essays in his hand. Harry nodded half to himself as he made his way out of the office.

 _Perhaps he_ _ **should**_ _leave Hogwarts_ he thought. At least he could make one person happy. A wistful smile graced his features "perhaps he would go easier on the Gryffindors if I was not there to irritate him" he thought. Yeah, Ron and Hermione would miss him but going by the signs, they would soon be together and they would not have any thoughts about him.

Sirius might have been sad but Sirius himself was no more. The thought of Sirius brought fresh tears to his eyes as he felt the raw wound of his loss again. His chest felt like a ton of bricks and he felt an ache in his heart for Sirius. He was the only one who had cared and loved him as his own. He had not felt like a burden when he was with Sirius and even that had been snatched away and now he was again being reminded of how unwanted he was.

As always, he thought of what his parents would want for him and he felt that they would not have stood for what Severus Snape was putting him through. He was sure that his parents had loved him and maybe he should do for himself what his parents would do if they were alive. Perhaps he could not question Snape or write to Dumbledore as a parent would but maybe he could look for alternatives.

He knew that his parents would want him to be happy and maybe a different school would give him that happiness. _Yes_ he decided ..he would apply to Durmstrang. He anyway had only two more years of schooling to do. Once done with that he could come back to face the prophecy, he would not abandon his people after all. But he would no longer take the bull shit that others dished out.

He had enough of being ridiculed and verbally abused by Snape as well as being slandered by his mercurial classmates. It was not as if he was being hyper sensitive, he had after all gone through everything for five years and more from the Dursleys earlier. A lifetime of being abused in one way or the other had finally reached a head. He _would_ be respected just as any other student and if this was the way he would get it, then this was his route.

It was time to make some decisions for his own well being and make some decisions for his own welfare rather than for the 'greater good'. It would be the only way that he could be in any condition to fight Voldemort when the time came.

As he thought about it, he became more and more convinced that this was a good idea and before he even realized it he was in front of the Fat Lady up in Gryffindor tower. It was time to start planning his future.

 **Author notes:** Hello everyone! This is a short drabble and will in no way interfere with 'From the abyss'. This plot would not leave my mind and so here it is! I would appreciate hearing from you so please please read and review.


	2. Chapter 2 friendship

**Chapter 2 Friendship**

 **Legal disclaimer** : This is merely a fan's fiction and all rights are safely with .

 **Warning** : Mild swearing

Harry entered the common room to find Ron and Hermione waiting for him. He sank to the carpet near his friends and sighed tiredly. He was emotionally and physically exhausted and he was grateful that his friends were always there whenever he came back from occlumency lessons. God knew that on most of these days he came back a wreck and only his friend's concern had given him the strength to carry on. Damn Snape!

"Harry! you look knackered mate. Are you alright?" Ron asked his voice belaying the concern on his face. Hermione had an equally worried look as she fondly laid a hand on Harry's forehead pushing back the hair that fell onto his forehead. Harry leaned into the soft touch and closed his eyes, resting and gathering his strength for what he had to say to his friends.

"Guys I have something to tell you" he said slowly making the way for further conversation."Harry you know you can tell us anything" Hermione replied softly as Ron shared a look with her. Harry opened his eyes and sat up straight. He looked at his friend's faces alit with concern and curiosity and said "Guys, I have made a decision. For good or bad I don't know but I can't do this anymore".

"Can't do what Harry? What is it that you have to do?" Ron asked puzzled by this new side of Harry. Harry had always been the one with the fire and die hard spirit. He had never seen Harry so dispirited and it worried him. Harry was not one to give up, ever. _What_ had the greasy dungeon bat done to his friend to make him so down he thought in worry and anger.

Harry was silent for a moment "Snape" he said simply before continuing "I am _sick_ of his taunts and insults and you know what is worse? It's not even targeted at me as a person. I can understand if _I_ have done something to warrant this but all this hate against my father who has been dead for _sixteen_ years? I can't fight that Ron, Mione" he said looking at each of them in turn.

"I can handle it if it's now and then but _every_ single day for five years now? I am not sure if I want to do this anymore guys" he said and added " he is just using his post as a teacher to bully me because he knows I can't fight back and _that_ is not going to change for another two years. Two years in which he is going to try his best to either kick me out of potions or out of Hogwarts. You both know that I want to be an auror and I need potions to be able to get into the course. How am I going to be able to do that with Snape teaching?" he ranted his voice rising a notch as his anger flared.

"I don't have my parents to fight my battles for me, there is no one that I can go to with this...all I know Is that I have to look out for myself" he said quietly, calming down for the moment.

"It's just as well that I cast a silencing spell" Hermione thought as she laid a hand on Harry's knee and sought to calm him down. "So what is it that you are saying Harry?" she asked, her mind getting an uneasy inkling of what was going to come.

Harry took a deep breath and looked down "I am thinking of shifting to Durmstrang" he said softly. His friends looked at him shocked " _Leave Hogwarts_?You can't do that …what about us? You can't leave us and go..You just can't...we will help you mate. You don't have to do this by yourself" Ron burst out.

Harry kept silent as Hermione wrestled with her own thoughts. As much as she loved Harry she understood where he was coming from. It was bound to get to him at some point and she wondered why she never realized that her friend was so close to the edge. Sometimes with how self sufficient Harry was, they forgot that he had no adults to fall back on ..Ron and she took their parents so much for granted that they forgot that there were others who did not have that luxury.

"Maybe you can talk to Dumbledore Harry" she offered tentatively. "And _say what_? Hermione" Harry parried her question and his voice rose in anger as he added "that Snape bullies me at every instance that we meet?…that occlumency is an excuse for him to hurt me? That he loathes the very existence of me? Tell me one thing Hermione if Snape had done what he does to me to some other student say Ron or Malfoy or even you..What do you think would have happened?".By this time Harry's face was flushed and his eyes sparked in anger.

"I suppose at some point it would have gone to our parents one way or another" she said timidly as Harry turned to her angrily "Now that will not happen in my case will it?" he asked his voice both sad and angry.

His last chance at having a parent had also vanished with Sirius and he added softly "Guys, however sad it might be, the truth is that I do not have any adults who can question Snape or even Dumbledore for that matter which basically leaves me to handle my own things".

"My parents can talk for you. I will write to Mum" Ron offered .Harry was touched by the gesture but shook his head in the negative "there is nothing she can do Ron, you know that only parents and guardians have a say in this. Look I know that you don't want me to leave and Merlin knows that I don't want to, but I honestly don't see any other way. I am tired of being belittled and want to have some chance to study as well as get ready before I have to face off Voldemort. I am not asking to be treated extra special, just not put down at every turn. Is that really too much to ask?"his voice came out strained as he struggled to keep his rising emotions under control. "Besides I don't think Dumbledore is unaware of how Snape treats me and yet he does not put a stop to it".

"Harry, I, am not going to say that we understand completely because we are not in your position but we do understand some."Hermione said softly. "I agree that what Professor Snape does to you is totally unacceptable and can only be called bullying at best but let's not rush into this ...there is the safety component to be taken into account with You-know-who out there" Hermione cautioned.

Harry snorted "In the last five years I have battled Voldemort 4 times and been surrounded by dementors when not…tell me Mione. How is that safety? Voldemort has been able to get me from right under Dumbledore's nose and I don't see how it's going to be any different. For all you know being at a distance might make it harder for him to reach me" he countered the argument.

Hermione could not deny the truth of the statement and settled for a plea "there might be some other solution that we can come up with. Please don't rush. Ron and I will speak to professor Dumbledore. He loves you Harry, maybe he just doesn't realize how bad it is" she said desperately.

"No Hermione, think of how it would turn out. Snape will be doubly vicious if he knew that any of us talked to Dumbledore about him. We will dig our own grave if we do that, and I am not sure that I want to be in a worse situation than this" Harry said quietly.

The other two could not counter act the argument as they knew it to be true. Harry had a point as Snape was indeed vindictive and could hold a grudge as no other person could. Seeing no way around this, Hermione fell silent. "So what is your plan Harry?" she asked sadly.

"What? _You are agreeing to this_?" Ron burst out before Harry could reply. "How can you let him leave us Hermione? If it comes to that I will come with you to Durmstrang mate" he declared.

"It is very easy to be on the sidelines Ron, but try to imagine how you would feel if you were in Harry's place and had to face the insults every day. He has already faced a lot and to ask him to suffer more does not seem fair. If we are good friends we should think about what benefits our friend rather than what benefits us" Hermione said being the voice of reason as ever.

Ron sat down deflated "well it is not easy agreeing to this but Harry what are you going to do?" he asked. Harry felt deflated himself and let out a large sigh "well I am going to write to Durmstrang and find out if they will have me. It would be really stupid if I speak to Dumbledore and then find out that I can't go to Durmstrang" he replied.

"But Durmstrang has a reputation for the Dark arts Harry…why go there?" Ron questioned further. "What other choice do we have mate?" Harry questioned back.

"Well, let me see if there are any other options before deciding on Durmstrang okay? Can you give me a couple of days? And even if it is Durmstrang won't they want to know why you want to shift? What are you going to tell them Harry?" Hermione asked quietly.

Harry nodded and answered thoughtfully "You are right Mione. I hadn't thought of that….I guess for the first time I will have to play the Boy-who-lived card and say that for security reasons or something that I can't stay at Hogwarts. Then I just have to pray really hard that they accept it and leave it at that".

Hermione nodded biting her lip and moved forward to hug her best friend who was like a brother to her. She could not imagine Hogwarts without him and she hugged him fiercely as tears made their way down her face. Harry hugged her back equally desperately as a desolate feeling settled into his heart.

Hugging each other, Hermione discreetly looked around to see that everyone else had gone on to dinner and she was glad for their absence. Seeing the golden trio in a deeply emotional moment would be prime gossip. She disengaged herself from Harry's warm hug and observed Ron engulf his mate in a hug too. Really! How had it come to this?

"If we hurry we can catch some dinner" she said as the boys stood awkwardly in the ensuing silence. They nodded and the three of them headed to the Great Hall each engrossed in the enormity of the decision.

"Harry you would keep in touch right?" Ron asked in an unusually subdued voice. Harry stopped and gripped his friend in a hug "Of course …you think this is easy? It breaks my heart to know that I am going to be away from you too. I so wish that you can be with me but when has my life ever been easy?" he asked wistfully.

 **Author notes:** thank you for the amazing response to the first chapter! That was just..Wow! Such a response only warrants faster updates and so here is the second chapter…which I hope you will read and review! Stay tuned for the next chapter where a bit of Snape POV will enter the story! See you on the other side…until then ciao.


	3. Chapter 3 For me

**Chapter 3 One step forward and one step back**

 **Disclaimer** : you already know it!

Severus Snape watched the Potter brat shuffle out of his office and could not help feeling that something had gone _very_ wrong. He also could not ignore the warning bells that rang in his head berating him and telling him that he had gone too far.

 _No_ , he told himself, Potter was incredibly headstrong and _his_ words hardly mattered didn't it? Then why did the brat look so lost and crushed? A snide voice which sounded suspiciously like his conscience questioned. A coil of guilt started rising in his stomach as the boy's expression floated in his mind's eye.

Severus tried to ignore the flaring guilt as he remembered how the boy's eyes had become deep pools of anguish, carrying none of the sparkle that a teenager's eyes should have. What had _he_ , Severus Snape said then? That he would be happy if the boy was not at Hogwarts? _Why had he said that?_ He was not even sure if he meant those words, it had been pure reflex, born out of a need to strike down James Potter's son.

As soon as Severus Snape said those words out aloud, realization stuck. _James Potter's son….James Potter's son_. That's all the boy had been to him. Not Harry Potter, but James Potter's son, _another_ reincarnation of James Potter. But _James Potter_ would never offer to leave Hogwarts for another's peace and therein lay the difference.

If pushed to it, it was something that Lily would do, not James. Panic and anger rose in his chest as he gasped for breath. Oh Merlin! How could he have been so blind…how could he have not considered the fact that the boy could be like Lily and not James. Or rather like himself for that matter and for the first time in six years Severus Snape reluctantly acknowledged that maybe he did not know Harry Potter at all.

The sight of the messy black hair and round glasses had stopped him from even looking at the emerald green of his mother's eyes. And those eyes shining with hurt and longing would haunt him for the rest of his life. He was sure of that now. If Lily knew how he had treated her son she would probably send him to the depths of hell and laugh over it….okay probably not laugh over it but it would definitely be hell for him.

The worst part was that he would not even fault her for it. At the moment, he held only the deepest of loathing for his own self. In spite of thinking that he was a far better man than his father, he had exactly become what his father had been. If his father had been guilty of all types of abuse, _he_ was definitely guilty of verbal abuse.

True he had never hit a child but he had done equal damage with his words. The fact that _he_ was Neville's Longbottom's boggart should have told him something but he had oh! so conveniently brushed it under the carpet. _When_ had he changed so much that he had reveled in destroying the morale of little children? and When had he become so blasé as to confuse fear for respect.?

It was precisely at that moment that he decided that he did not like the fear that he sees in the children's eyes. He had become a monster, the bogeyman without even realizing it. And what was worse, was that he had picked on the two kids who could not run to their parents for support for they were orphans, out of which one was an orphan because of _him_.

 _'_ _Brilliant! He was a coward_ ,' he thought venomously, he had picked on the kids who could not get their parents to question what he did….he was a coward and a bully and those kids had been brave. Yes, Neville Longbottom and Harry potter were brave and it was no wonder that they belonged in Gryffindor.

So what had happened today to bring Potter to say those words Severus wondered? And then answered his own question. Occlumency of course. The lessons that he had in his vengeance converted to torture sessions for they had been nothing less.

He had seen the tears on the boy's face and had not been moved by it. He had seen the boy collapse to his knees and had not been moved by it. He had derided the horrible scenes from the boy's domestic life instead of looking into them. He had seen the abuse and cast it aside simply because it did not fit into the scheme of things.

Potter had been right; he _had enjoyed_ seeing him suffer. It had been compensation for all the adulation and pampering that he received everywhere he told himself, only that it was truly not. It was a flimsy excuse that he had concocted to assuage his guilt and bribe it into silence. He had truly become worthy of the Dark Mark and he knew that there was no redemption from _this._

His mind cast back to Potter's words and his insides rang with newfound alarm….he had not taken the words seriously then but what _if_ Potter really decided to leave Hogwarts? What if _he_ had _really broken_ the camel's back? What if the boy did something worse? It would be _his_ fault, he knew that. _Entirely his fault. He had pushed the boy to the brink._ A boy, who already had an incredible burden shoved on to his shoulder and Severus wondered for a moment if Dumbledore had showed the prophecy to the boy.

But what could he do about it? Too much venom and vitriol had passed into the relationship and six years of hatred could not be overcome in a day. He had no option but to wait and beg for forgiveness and perhaps try to find the shreds of humanity within him that he had buried deep inside. _Damn Potter!_ He cursed softly. He did not need this epiphany now, not when the Dark Lord was getting stronger.

 **Gryffindor tower**

Back in Gryffindor tower after dinner, the trio sat together as Hermione outlined her trip to the library. "So did you find anything Mione?" Harry asked. Hermione shook her head sadly "I am sorry Harry, apart from Hogwarts, Durmstrang and Beaubatons are the only schools which have some information available. There are some mentions of another school called Euston but no one knows where it is or how it can be reached. Much like Hogwarts you have to be invited, it cannot be reached, so I am afraid it leaves as you said Durmstrang as the only choice."

Ron looked glum as he asked "Mate, are you sure you want to go through with this? You have managed five years, just get through another two, please?".Harry shook his head and sighed, as he blinked away the telling moisture in his eyes.

"Ron it would not matter if the last two years were just like the others but you know it is not. These decide my career and I know that without potions I cannot be an auror. What choice do I have? If I am going to be an auror, I need to be able to brew potions Ron. With Snape and Malfoy around, do you think that is going to be possible"? he asked before adding "besides it will be good to get away for a while. It is very irritating to be either put on a pedestral or to be vilified for things I did not do" he muttered.

"So are you going to write to Durmstrang?" Hermione asked. "Yes" Harry answered as he asked further "do you know if the Headmaster is called the same there?".Hermione's eyes lit up with unknown knowledge as she said "No, the headmaster is called the doyen and _Harry_ , he is also supposed to be an incredible wizard. The school does have a course in the dark arts but it is more in the way of learning how to deal with it rather than just simply cast it" she explained.

"Perhaps I should just get down to writing the letter then" Harry said as Ron exclaimed "what, already"?.Harry looked at him calmly "Ron if I give myself time, I might not have the determination to do it. So let me do it before I give myself a chance to get swayed" he said with a thin smile.

"If you say so mate" Ron said as he got up and gave a hug before saying bye to Hermione and heading to the boy's dorm. Harry immediately settled down at his desk to draft a letter to Durmstrang. After several drafts during which Harry made a mental note to ask Hermione if the Doyen was a man or women, he settled on one which sounded alright.

To:

 _The Doyen,_

 _Durmstrang Institute for Wizards,_

 _Dear Sir/mam,_

 _My name is Harry Potter, and I am currently enrolled in the sixth year program of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizadry. I seek admission to your esteemed institution as the political climate here has necessitated a change in location for the purpose of safety._

 _I am in pursuit of knowledge and I would like to put forward that I am willing to whole heartedly work towards that goal. I sincerely hope that you would find me a suitable candidate and accept me as a student._

 _Thanking you,_

 _Yours sincerely,_

 _Harry Potter._

Harry sighed and sat back. Reading through the draft once again, he hoped that it did not sound tacky or carry stupid grammar mistakes. Once again, a small sliver of doubt made it's way into his mind and questioned him on his decision. But he shook it away and steeled himself for the future although he realized that if this got rejected, he had no backup whatsoever. Perhaps he could look up that Euston School or whatever. In any case there was nothing he could do now he thought with a yawn as he sunk into the bed for the night.

After a whole night of dreams filled with white snow and a black stone building with the words Durmstrang on them Harry got up to find Ron already dressed. "Harry hurry up, Hermione is already here…let's get some breakfast" he urged. Harry got up yawning "just give me a few minutes Ron, I will be right there" he said grabbing a towel and heading for the shower.

Soon the three of them were heading to the Great Hall and Harry showed the draft of the letter to Hermione. "Mione I meant to ask you, do you know if the doyen is a man or a woman?" he asked. Hermione thought for a moment and she said "good question. The book only said Doyen, it did not mention anything else…sorry Harry".

Harry shrugged "It doesn't matter…I just hope everything works out" he said before turning to Ron "Ron there is something I need to ask Hermione. Would you mind giving us a couple of minutes?" he asked.

"Oi! What is it that you are telling her and not me" Ron demanded with a pout. "Please Ron, I will tell you but just not now. Ok?" Harry replied as Ron reluctantly walked forward to give them privacy. Once Ron was out of earshot, Harry turned to Hermione "Mione I don't know if you are aware, but there is a spell to remove memories and store them in a pensieve. But wait, do you know what a pensieve is by the way?" he asked.

Hermione nodded to show that she was aware and motioned for him to continue "anyway as I was saying, there is a spell for removing certain memories and storing it for later use. Could you find that spell for me?" he asked as Hermione replied "Yes I suppose I could find that out, but why would you need it?"

"I am planning to leave some memories for Dumbledore and Snape to view. They need to know the reality Mione" he said. Hermione nodded in shrewd understanding "is it about the Dursleys?" she asked "and about Snape" Harry added and grinned.

Hermione smiled sadly and linked her hand with Harry's and motioned for Ron to do the same as they walked to the Great Hall. She desperately wished that Harry would share more about the Dursleys. She sensed that there was more to the story than he let on. But in spite of all that they had shared over the years Harry was still shielding them from the truth, she knew. And if it had to come out this way who was she to stop it?

 **Author notes** : Thank you one and all for the amazing welcome to this story. It made me all tizzy and so here it is, the next chapter. Hope it keeps you entertained. Ciao! And do read and review!


	4. For me chapter 4:karma bites back

**Chapter 4 For Me: karma bites back!**

 **Disclaimer** : It's all there already and No I do not make money out of this!

Once the trio got through breakfast it was time for double potions. Ron let out a groan as Hermione hefted her bag getting ready for the lessons. Harry however sat rooted to his seat and his friends turned to him in puzzlement. "Harry aren't you coming to class?" Hermione asked turning in surprise. Harry went still and he said calmly "No Hermione, I am not. There is no point in coming, only to get ridiculed. I am going to the library to look up the potions and also make arrangements to practice on my own. You go ahead. Don't wait for me" he said pushing Hermione towards the door.

"Oh _Harry_!" Hermione exclaimed in distress but she understood his point. Reluctantly she waved a small goodbye and walked to the entrance tugging Ron along. "I wish I could go with him" Ron said under his breath and he was surprised when Hermione concurred "Yes Ron, me too. He needs us" she said simply.

Once his friends left, Harry wasted no time in gathering his own bag and leaving for the library. He did not glance anywhere, not at his classmates who were looking at him curiously or at the staff table. Had he looked, he would have seen Dumbledore's curious and speculative expression as well as the sadness that flitted across Snape's visage.

He made his way swiftly to the library where he read through many potion texts and made notes on how to brew the last lesson taught which the draught of living death. As he went through the notes, he realized that without Snape's forbidding presence or Ron's distractions he understood the subject much better. The burning interest that he had had on his first day of Hogwarts was once again rearing it's head. Sadly, he wished that Snape had been a better teacher for, it was truly an interesting subject after all.

He quickly jotted down the relevant points and decided that he would take his cauldron and set up his potions practice in the disused second floor girl's lavatory. Worst come to worst he could always go down to the chamber even, he thought with a wry chuckle.

Once he was done taking notes, he was startled to find that the hour had almost flown past without him even realizing it. Had he been really _that_ engrossed in the potions text? he wondered marveling at the fact.

Working fast, he gathered his things and made his way to the transfiguration classroom where he knew he would be joined by his friends soon. For the first time since he came to Hogwarts, he had been at peace with potions and his idea of looking up the memory removal spell if he had the time did not even materialize. It just meant one more trip to the library which he could possibly do the next day during potions lessons where in addition to the spell, he had also to find out Durmstrang's address. How else would he be able to send the letter? He mused.

Pondering over the situation he soon realized that he had reached the transfiguration classroom ahead of his friends. He waited for them and was soon rewarded with the sound of his friend's voices unsurprisingly raised in an argument.

"You _saw_ how he was Ron…maybe he is changing" Hermione spoke fervently as Ron shook his head equally vehemently " _In a day_? Hermione… _in a day_?" his voice held pure disbelief. He shook his head again "No Mione you are wrong…the man is evil. You will see, come tomorrow and he will be the same git that he was all these years".

"What are you guys arguing about?" Harry asked curiously breaking into his friend's argument. "You should have seen Professor Snape today Harry…he was different" Hermione said animatedly. "Different? How?"Harry questioned looking to the both of them for an explanation.

"I don't know mate…he was just a lot quieter, almost like he was lost in thought or something. He did not even favor Malfoy or take points from Gryffindor, can you believe that?" Ron asked, his voice still reflecting disbelief before adding "He did ask why you are not in class though".

"Oh! He probably wanted to take points…anyway what did you say?" Harry asked as Hermione piped in "I don't know Harry…he might not have. He just seemed calmer, quieter. Do you think he regrets what he does to you? And, by the way because we don't have a cover story we said that you were not feeling too well. It was the only thing that we could come up with at the spur of the moment " she said helplessly flailing her hand.

"I doubt that he regrets anything Mione... I am just not that important to him. Must be something order related and honestly, I don't really care what excuse you guys give for my absence" Harry shrugged nonchalantly while entering the classroom and taking a seat. Hermione and Ron exchanged a worried look before following him.

With no time for further conversation they prepared themselves for McGonagall's class where they spent the better part of an hour trying to turn a cushion into a cat. At the end of the hour Hermione and surprisingly Harry had managed to produce some form of a cat, even if Hermione's was the only one that managed to meow.

It almost seemed that once Harry had made the decision, something had become calm inside of him. As the prospect of leaving the castle loomed imminently, he seemed to want to leave some good memories behind. He felt a new found determination to do well in the few days that he would remain and he owed it to McGonagall to do his best.

As lunch rolled around, Harry discussed the prospect of getting the letter to Durmstrang. He nudged Hermione aside as he said "Mione, I am going to look up Durmstrang's address in the library. In the event that it is not accessible what do we do?" he put forward quietly.

Hermione bit her lower lip in thought before she looked up. "This is going to sound a bit mad …but it might be worth a shot" she said hesitantly. Harry looked at her enquiringly as she explained "Harry, in case we don't find Durmstrang's address we could approach Malfoy".

Harry and Ron looked at her in shock as she continued… "you know how he always went on about how he wanted to go to Durmstrang and instead landed up here, he _might_ actually know something about the place " she said and waited for the axe to fall.

"Mione that's mad… ** _Malfoy_**? What makes you think he will help us?" Ron burst out but Harry had a contemplative look in his eyes. "That's bloody brilliant Mione" he said as Hermione preened "I mean who else in this whole school will be happy to see me go? _And_ you ask if he will _help_? He will probably jump at the chance!"he exclaimed.

"Harry, are you sure that this is what you want to do? And you really want to ask _Malfoy_?" Ron asked in a quiet voice not voicing the "of all people" that hung in the air.

"As it is it's going to be weird without you being here...I mean we will never get to battle trolls, or go into secret chambers or….battle dementors again…or…." He continued in a voice tinged with laughter as Harry playfully punched him and said "yeah yeah…you will have to get used to a regular lifestyle and I know that your mum will be very happy with that" settling the matter for now, even though Ron would come up with it again in the coming days.

Once they got through lunch where Harry once again avoided looking at the speculative glance of Snape, they dispersed once again for the rest of the sessions. Harry could not wait to finish his classes and get to the library and look up the hidden institute. As he planned out the steps to be taken in his new quest, he was getting even more reconciled with his decision and now he had started feeling the slight beginnings of excitement. Finally, he would have some say in his own life and he was very definitely looking forward to that.

So once the classes were done, the three of them hurried to the library at Harry's behest where they searched for any and all information on Durmstrang. However their search did not yield the required information. "Bloody hell! How can an institute exist without an address?" Ron fumed as the other two sank back into their chairs. Harry sighed "I want to move fast Mione…I can't avoid going to potions class forever and when Dumbledore calls me I want to have an answer ready" he said.

"Perhaps you can ask Dumbledore for the address mate" Ron joked but Harry smiled as he said "believe me I am not above that" slyly. Hermione however got up and started gathering the books that they had spread out "guys let's head back to the tower. I need to finish the homework before we can think about the next plan".

Harry and Ron got up too, gathering their share of the books "I am going to ask Malfoy to meet me" Harry suddenly declared. "And what if he doesn't come?" Hermione questioned. Harry shrugged his shoulders and replied "well I will owl him first and see. If that doesn't work I will just have to work out a different plan". Hermione sighed and looked at him sadly "you have really made up your mind, haven't you?" she asked.

"I have Mione, now it is no more a question of just getting away, I _want_ to do this. You won't believe this, but I learnt more in the library today than I have ever learnt in Snape's class. This is important Mione…it might just save my life" Harry replied earnestly.

"Well, you can mail Malfoy but on one condition" Ron interrupted "I will be there when you meet Malfoy. I don't trust the ferret, and I don't like the idea of you meeting him alone." Harry nodded knowing that there was no swaying Ron on this issue "sure, I will owl him tonight and let you know what he says" he said.

Much later, Harry found himself sitting with a parchment in front of him thinking about what to say to Draco Malfoy, his arch rival of five years, thorn in his side and prat extraordinaire. He looked at what he had written and sighed…what do you say to someone with whom you have never conversed…only fought? This was even more difficult than writing to Durmstrang. God knew! from the bunch of discarded parchment sitting in the bin. He read through what he had written one more time. This was what he had arrived at after innumerable drafts and he hoped that it would suffice.

Malfoy,

I know that you and I have never seen eye to eye on any issue but the fact is that I need your help. Could you meet me in the girl's lavatory on the second floor….the one that no one uses you know, at 7p.m tomorrow? In return I believe that I might be able to give you something that will make you very happy.

Harry Potter.

Well that was that….it was not the best way to say things but he really could not think of better phrasing. Well there is nothing to be done I guess, he thought and he just hoped that Malfoy's curiosity was strong enough for him to meet him the next day. With this thought in mind, he got into bed with a deep sense of satisfaction that he was finally doing something constructive instead of just stringing along in his life.

Life was strange enough he mused…and it was now coming full circle. Malfoy had extended his hand in friendship back when he had joined Hogwarts. Harry had turned down the offer then, but five years later he was in the reverse position and he desperately hoped that Malfoy would not turn him down now. Karma was indeed vicious!

 **Author notes:** As ever, I am indebted to each one of my readers for the amazing support you have given this fic. Stay tuned for some Severus Pov as well as some other developments in the next chapter. Thank you once again and please do remember that it is hearing from you that spurs me onto further writing. So please do read and review!


	5. Chapter 5 communication

**Chapter 5 Communication**

 **Disclaimer:** Purely borrowing the characters and that is something that you already know.

 **Severus Snape**

Severus Snape watched Harry with new eyes as he was seated at the Great Hall. There was definitely something different about the young boy but he could not put a finger on what the something was. A wave of regret coursed through him again because his instinct told him that this change in the young wizard was connected to him. Not for the first time he wished that he could turn back time and undo the damage that he had caused.

As the breakfast got over he saw with renewed alarm as only Granger and Weasley got up with their bags while Potter remained seated. He felt a deep hollow settle in his gut and felt the blood drain from his face as realization sunk in. The fact that Potter did not get up to go for double potions did not bode well and made the possibility that had been haunting Severus through the night more plausible.

At this point he did not even want to acknowledge Dumbledore who he knew was observing everything with a keen eye and he knew that the questions would soon follow. Well, he thought with a flash of anger, the old man really should have had more foresight than to couple him with Potter for of all things occlumency. _Really!_ what was the man thinking he thought regretfully.

With the hollow feeling now lodged more firmly in the region of his heart he made his way to his classroom. He noted with deepening gloom that only two thirds of the trio was indeed there. He also noticed the other students looking curiously at the two and decided to make his entrance known.

He swished his way to the front of the classroom and waved his wand at the board where the instructions wrote themselves out. He then turned to the Granger girl and asked softly "Miss Granger, where is Mr. Potter?".

Granger gasped and the whole class stood stunned at the lack of insults that normally accompanied the word 'Potter.' A few of them probably thought that this was a buildup to even more scathing comments to come and stood in tense anticipation. Only a few Slytherins had a mild smile as they waited for the proverbial axe to fall.

Wryly, he watched the girl flounder in confusion before saying "he was not feeling well Sir" as the red headed boy nodded with an equally confused expression. Clearly they had not anticipated the question.

Severus nodded and grimaced inwardly "blasted Gryffindors! Can't even lie convincingly. If it had been a Slytherin…" he mused sadly. "I assume he is in the hospital wing then?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, letting them know that he was not buying it while at the same time not rejecting it in front of the students.

"I assume so professor" Granger replied carefully while Severus inclined his head, acknowledging it as a good enough answer under the circumstances. Perhaps there was still hope! He had then turned to the class and resumed the lesson as if the matter was settled although his mind frequently wandered to the messy haired bespectacled wizard who was currently not in his class.

It was inexplicable how he had been irritated at the very presence of the boy and wished him gone but now when the reality had become that, he wished for the opposite.

He knew that he had not been his usual self in the class that had transpired and also knew that it would be his turn to be gossiped about but it did not bother him in the least. He _had_ to find out what the Golden Boy.. _no_ he admonished in his mind…not the golden boy anymore… ' _Harry'_ was up to and if the situation was indeed dire, in which case he had a lot of things to do to set things right.

He had indeed failed the only person who had ever fought for him and had never judged him by his practices. She had been sweet and loving and now he knew that he could never stand in her presence without the shame and guilt written on his person. Oh! How she would be disappointed with the wizarding world and him in particular.

With these thoughts running rampant in his mind he had also absent mindedly handled the next class and now he was startled to find that it was now time for lunch. He idly wondered if the boy wonder would be there as he made his way to the Great hall.

His eyes wandered almost as if on their own accord to the bespectacled boy sitting with his friends. Drily he noted that he looked quite well giving credence to the obvious lie that had been spoken instead. He also felt on closer inspection that the boy looked more at peace with himself. This was even more bewildering as it left Severus in even more of a dire need to find out what was brewing with the boy.

He also noted the fact that the boy had avoided looking at the staff table and had kept his conversation limited to the redhead and the know-it-all. Severus groaned inwardly, when the three got together like this trouble invariably followed and he wondered what it would be this time.

Later that night when Severus had retired to his quarters he recalled with alarm that the trio had been deeply engrossed in discussion during dinner while at the same time throwing guarded looks at Draco Malfoy. This compounded the confusion and he knew that the trouble was brewing bigger and bigger and he or any of the other staff had no clue by the looks of it. Sometimes it made him wonder whether he was the only one with eyes and the brains to decode the signals that his eyes perceived. He just hoped that the problem was one that could be handled as he yawned and gave into sleep.

 **Next day morning Gryffindor tower**

Harry woke up with a vague sense of something important that he had to do. As his awareness sharpened, he grimaced as he realized that the important thing he had to do was send the letter, if it could be called that to Malfoy. For that, he had to use the school owl; Hedwig was just too noticeable after all.

So he got out of bed and quickly wrote a note for Ron mentioning his visit to the owlery and made his way out of the tower. Once he was at the tower he was pleased to find Hedwig waiting for him although she showed her displeasure as he approached one of the school owls and tied his letter to her leg.

"Deliver this to Draco Malfoy please" he muttered while sneaking a glance at Hedwig. Hedwig hooted in protest and Harry smiled. He could have sworn that had Hedwig been human, her eyebrows would be raised in disbelief just then. After spending a few more minutes assuaging her anger he made his way back to the tower where he saw a fully dressed Ron waiting for him.

Ron caught his eye and jerked his head making his question rather clear. Harry nodded to show that the deed was done and motioned for Ron to follow him out. They were joined by Hermione at the door where she gave him an inquisitive look "So did you send the letter?" she asked in a slight whisper. Harry smiled slightly and nodded "yeah, I have…let's see what happens. Breakfast should be interesting today…I just hope he doesn't decide not to come for breakfast or something" he muttered.

"Harry have a little faith will you? Everything will be fine...you will see" Hermione admonished. By this time they had taken their seats and got started on the breakfast. Despite everything, Harry could not avoid the slight nervous feeling that was plaguing his stomach. Soon it was time for mails and he looked up with a nervous glance to see the school owl settle itself in front of Draco Malfoy. The Slytherin table turned as one to see the strange owl but quickly turned away at the glacial stare of the Slytherin prince.

The blond haired boy had been momentarily surprised by the owl but in the next instant his expression had blanked out as he reached forward to take the parchment from it's feet. He quickly perused the script, his expression giving nothing away as he quickly folded the parchment and tucked it into his pocket. For just a fleeting second however he looked up to hold Harry's gaze before turning to the person at his side and resuming his conversation.

Harry let out the breath he was holding ….he did not know what he had been expecting but at least Malfoy had not made a scene. In fact he had been incredibly smooth and against his will Harry had to admit that he was a tad bit impressed. "Well that was anti climatic" Ron quipped drily as Harry laughed. "Yes that definitely was" Harry agreed. "So what do we do now?" Ron persisted as Hermione answered "nothing to do but wait. Let's give him time to respond…and then we will decide what to do next."

"What do you reckon is on his mind Mione?" Harry asked .Hermione shrugged "well your guess is as good as mine…but the fact that he did not blow the whistle makes me think that he will meet you. However I don't think he will give away anything just like that though…Slytherins are masters at striking a deal".

"What can you possibly have that he doesn't?" Ron wondered sending everyone into a spiral of thought. Suddenly all three of them stiffened… "there is only one thing that you have that no one else including Malfoy has Harry" Hermione whispered and an uneasy look crossed Harry's face " Do you really think that he knows about the invisibility cloak? Do you reckon that he will go after that?" he croaked.

"Well that deal is definitely off then…we will have to just think of something else" Ron said definitively. Harry nodded as he sat back finished with the breakfast as the others did too. "Well no use second guessing this…let's just go to class and wait for the response from Malfoy. Come on" Hermione urged as the other two got to their feet reluctantly and started for the charms lesson.

By this time some of the others had finished their breakfast too and made their way to them and the trio stopped to exchange pleasantries with their mates. Soon they found themselves embroiled in the charms lesson after which they found themselves on the corridor leading to the transfiguration class which was to be a follow up the earlier lesson.

This time almost everyone managed the transfiguration and they had left an extremely pleased McGonagall for their next class that was defense against the dark arts. This year Dumbledore had brought in Tonks to handle the classes and Harry had enjoyed the sessions so far. He would definitely miss these classes he thought ruefully especially in view of the fact that most of the DADA teachers had turned out to be the villains for him.

Harry caught up to Hermione as they walked down to lunch."Mione, did you look up the spell for the transfer of memories?" he asked breathlessly. Hermione smiled triumphantly "Yeah I did" and then frowned as something occurred to her "but how will you test the spell Harry? We don't have a pensieve to see the memories?" she enquired.

Harry fell silent "Yeah…I had forgotten about that. We will have to think of something...So what is the spell is anyway?" he asked steering the conversation back to the spell. "The spell is ' _detraheret memoriae'_. Do you think you can remember that?" she asked.

"So I just have to concentrate on the memories that I want to extract and then cast the spell right? I know the action because I have seen Dumbledore do it." Harry clarified.

"So when are you going to do it mate? I don't think you should try it alone" Ron quietly added. Harry turned to reply when they suddenly heard the rustle of wings. They looked up to see a majestic black eagle owl hover in front of Harry. "Well I'll be damned but I do believe that is Malfoy's owl" Ron said as the three of them checked the corridor to see if they were alone.

Hermione let out a sigh of relief as there was no one in the vicinity. They had unconsciously taken a lesser known route to the Great Hall and it had paid off. Now she looked at the imposing bird and could not help thinking how proud the bird seemed pretty much like it's owner. Harry in the meantime had taken the parchment and opened it to see the flowing script of Draco Malfoy.

 _Potter,_

 _As you wish, 7 pm it is. My condition is however that you come alone, and rest assured that the same will apply to me._

 _Draco Malfoy._

The note was crisp and to the point not that Harry expected it to be anything else. "Well, you are not going alone are you?" Ron asked in a worried tone. Harry's answering silence did nothing to assure him as he reaffirmed "This could be a trap Harry. You know that the prat is up to no good. His father is a death eater for heaven's sake" Ron fumed.

"I have no choice Ron. I have to take the risk and it is just as well that the meeting place is Myrtle's lavatory. I have the chamber if something goes wrong and no one can follow me there" Harry sought to reassure Ron. Ron leveled a pleading look at Hermione but Hermione just shrugged. She knew that when Harry set his mind on something it was impossible to dissuade him.

Ron huffed "fine have it your way and you still haven't told us your plan with the memories business". "Well I was going to say that it depends on what Malfoy says but now that he has replied, I think I will try it tomorrow night perhaps in the room of requirement."

Hermione nodded her assent. It sounded fine. It would also give her some time to research the spell further and also to ponder over the issue of the pensieve. However she just said "Fine guys; let us discuss the matter later. We are getting late for lunch and by the way Harry I have to remind you that we have potions tomorrow. We need to come up with a better cover story ok".

Harry grimaced and groaned "aww…don't remind me Mione. I'd rather not think about it" he said and made his way to their usual spot on the Gryffindor table having once again avoided looking at the Staff table.

 **Author notes** : I would love to reply to each and every review and I definitely will at some point. Thank you once again for your amazing encouragement. Please feel free to voice your ideas and what you would like to see in the fic. Even though I don't reply personally I do go through every review and walk on cloud nine every time! And yes do let me know if you like the idea of having a teaser of the next chapter or if it would spoil the suspense! Looking forward to the reviews and feedback Ciao! Adios!


	6. Chapter 6 The deal

**Chapter 6 The deal**

Time seemed to fly the rest of the day and the time to meet Draco Malfoy approached far too soon. Harry looked at his friends nervously "okay this is it guys. Wish me luck". Ron fidgeted as he asked yet again "Harry are you sure that you don't need us there?".

Harry sighed, he could understand his friend's concern but they had been through this enough. "Yes Ron I am absolutely sure. We need his trust …just remember that it was me who approached him and not the other way round. Honestly I am just glad that his curiosity won out. He could have easily said no".

Ron sneered "well if you say so, and I do hope it is just curiosity that has won out" he quipped as Hermione gave him a playful shove. "Well harry it is time for you to get going. We will wait for you and please be careful" she pleaded.

Harry nodded and quickly made his way out of the portrait hole and made his way to the second floor. He had made sure that he was there a few minutes before the appointed time so that he could be composed when Malfoy came. Malfoy for all of his faults was normally punctual. He was not disappointed as he heard the sound of soft footsteps at the designated time and looked up to see Draco Malfoy enter the lavatory dressed as impeccably as ever.

"Charming location Potter and I see that you have managed to lose your guard dogs" he said with his customary sneer in place, leaning casually against the door with his hands in his pocket. Harry felt his hackles rise at the slight to his friends but he managed to stay calm. "Sorry about that Malfoy but it does offer privacy" he said before adding "and thank you for coming."

Draco acknowledged the greeting with a nod. "Well now that I am here, what is it that the Great Potter needs help with" Draco drawled getting straight to the heart of the matter. Harry was thankful for the opening as the situation would have just led to an uncomfortable silence otherwise.

He took a deep breath "I have decided to transfer to Durmstrang and I need your help to locate the address so that I can write to the institute" he blurted out before he could lose his courage. Harry could see that the Slytherin had been startled for a minute and had definitely not expected this confession but the expression had been so fleeting that Harry doubted if it had even been there.

The Slytherin slowly straightened from where he had been leaning on the doorframe and raised his eyebrow. "Why Potter? Decided that the adulation of the British population is not up to standard is it? Or are you running away from our poor Professor Snape? Merlin! Who will the British people turn to as their beacon of light now? And aren't you supposed to be the chosen one or some such rubbish? Never thought I would see the Gryffindor golden boy act so…. _Slytherin_ " the words came out sarcastic and Harry could practically hear the sneer in the blond wizard's voice.

Harry felt hollow as the words dredged up the ever present guilt that ate at his insides. He _was_ the chosen one after all…and he _was_ abandoning the people. But this was not the time to get deterred. He could not let the other boy's words impact him. He reminded himself that he would come back when needed, and until then he needed to live for himself a bit too.

He gritted his teeth and fought for control as he bit out "My reasons are not important, they are my own, just tell me if will you help?" Harry retorted unwilling to concede any more information than the bare minimum.

"My my, impatient are we Potter? We haven't even discussed what I will get out of this. I don't believe in social work, especially when it involves you" the words came out infuriatingly calm. Harry applauded Hermione mentally for decoding the Slytherin code even as he asked "what do you want Malfoy? Isn't my leaving Hogwarts not reward enough? You can be free of my presence, just think about it".

A sarcastic smile played on Malfoy's lips "hah! Now Potter that would be what I call a fringe benefit….a Potter free Hogwarts. Sounds rather nice but what I have in mind is a bit more tangible let's say" he drawled bringing a bout of nervousness in Harry.

"Well what do you want then?" he asked now anxious to finish the deal and get away from the Slytherin's vicinity. He looked up to see a flash of emotion in the normally glacial grey eyes and wondered what that was. It had made the boy look vulnerable for just a second and Harry could not deny that _he_ was now curious.

"I want you to talk to Dumbledore and get him to issue me a no objection letter as well, so that I can follow you to Durmstrang. If you agree to this, the address to the institute will be yours by morning" he stated shocking Harry completely. Whatever Harry had been prepared for it had definitely not been this.

 ** _What?_** Bloody hell Malfoy…why would you want to go to Durmstrang? Whatever happened to "my father is powerful" and how do I know that it is not an elaborate plan to gift parcel me to Voldemort?" the words rushed out of Harry as his mind worked to wrap itself around the demand.

"Shh…Potter don't get your wand in a twist. Calm down will you. As for my reasons they are my own pretty much as your reasons are yours. As to whether this is a trap I would be very disappointed if you had trusted me blindly. But to ease your mind I suggest we enter into a magical agreement so that the deal stays to what we discuss and not anything more. If you want, you can even have Granger dictate the terms of the agreement. Now that is what I can offer, it is up to you to take it or leave it" he said leaving Harry in a whirl storm of emotion. He let the words swirl around in his mind as he came to a decision.

"Can I owl you with my decision in a couple of hours? I want to run this by my friends?" Harry put forth as he waited for the other boy to respond. A pensive look played on the Slytherin's face as he nodded "I did not expect anything less. Now if we are finished may I suggest we move along?.

Harry nodded and took a deep breath before extending his hand "Malfoy thanks again for coming" he said simply and waited as the other boy moved toward him and decisively clasped his hand in a firm handshake. "After you Potter" he said as Harry quickly made his way out of the lavatory followed swiftly by the blond haired wizard.

Harry rapidly made his way to Gryffindor tower where he knew his friends would be waiting. He entered the common room and the three of them immediately went to the corner where Hermione surreptiously put up a silencing charm. Without wasting any more time Harry filled them in on what happened. When he came to the Slytherin's demand he found them to be equally flabbergasted as he had been, but neither of them could hazard a guess as to why Draco Malfoy wanted to leave London.

"It is a game that he is playing…he is just toying with us mate. He does not want to really help" Ron declared while Hermione had a thoughtful look on her face. Harry shrugged as Hermione spoke softly "no Ron that is not it. In that case, he would not have come at all…or done something to let us know that it was a prank or that he is just stringing us along. I mean he could have asked anything…and I mean anything. He could have used the chance to demean Harry completely but he did not. So why did he ask this? I think he is really serious about this. There is definitely more to the story behind his demand".

"But why would he want to leave Mione? After all, his father is a powerful man, a powerful death eater" Harry said as Hermione interrupted "who is _no longer_ powerful Harry. The man is in Azkaban and maybe that is why Malfoy wants to leave. You know what? Ever since sixth year started he had not been himself. Haven't you noticed that he has stopped picking on us? In fact he looks thin and on some days ill. There is something going on which we don't know about and it is affecting him" she said.

Ron looked at her suspiciously "how come you noticed so much about the git?" he asked a note of jealousy creeping into his tone. Hermione huffed in annoyance "I have eyes Ron and I use it" she snapped before turning to Harry "so where does that leave us?" she asked.

"Do you think he is in trouble and that is why he wants to leave? But to leave why does he need my help? Can't he just go by himself? Harry questioned in response to her query

"Think about who he is and which family he is affiliated to Harry. Do you really think Dumbledore will help him to go to an institute where the Dark arts are a subject?" Hermione asked in turn. Harry nodded in thought "Okay I get that he needs me as much as I need him right now. But where does that leave us now?" Harry asked going back to Hermione's original question.

Hermione bit her lip deep in thought "the way I see it there's nothing we can do now. We don't have much time to dawdle over this. We can draft an agreement and get him to sign it so that he cannot hurt you. This is if you think he was genuine, and only you can say that, since you were the one who saw him. You can be the best judge of that" she said.

Harry took a deep breath and a hard look came into his eyes "If you ask me I will say that he was genuine Hermione. It did look as if he meant what he said. I guess I will just have to take the risk then" he said pausing and taking a breath before continuing his argument.

"In that case Mione, I want you to get started on drafting that agreement right away. We will have to draft it in such a way that there are no loopholes and just pray that we are doing the right thing. As much as I hate to say it there really is no time for me to waste on doing more research. Besides it just occurred to me that I have just given away my plan to Malfoy freely. He knows now what I plan to do and if he is determined to give the info to the death eaters then all my plans are naught. At least with an agreement we can be assured that I can get to Durmstrang" he pointed out.

"You have a point mate. I can't say I like this anymore than you leaving Hogwarts …all that I can say is that I feel I should be with you even more now. You need to have us to watch your back Harry now that the snake is planning to follow you."Ron said with a helpless shrug.

"This is going to be hard for me too Ron but please don't consider leaving your family ever again. At least not on my account. You don't know how much I envy you your family Ron….I would exchange my life for yours in a heartbeat if only my life was not so shitty…I wouldn't wish my life on anyone least of all you" Harry burst out in a rare show of vulnerability.

Hermione had tears in her eyes as she silently clasped Harry's hand in a show of support "I am so sorry Harry…you don't deserve this" she said fiercely as she drew him in for a hug. "Ugh! I do wish none of this was happening" she said.

"I know Hermione …but anyway I told Malfoy that I will mail him with my decision once I run everything past you. So let me get to doing that and I will tell him that I will meet him again tomorrow to get the address as well as sign the agreement. Is that alright with you guys?" Harry asked looking at his friends.

"So when are you going to do the memories thing?" Ron asked. "Once I am done with Malfoy we will go to the room of requirement." Harry responded as his friends nodded, not quite happy with the situation. "Harry, you won't forget us once you are there right?" Ron asked timidly as if afraid of the answer.

Harry felt his throat close up and tears sprang to his eyes at hearing the desperate question. He closed his eyes afraid of letting the tears fall and harshly swiped the tears away "Ron you were my first friend in the wizarding world, any world really and I cannot ask for better friends than you both. You guys are not just my friends…you are the closest thing to a family I have" he said his voice breaking at the end "and no you dolt I am going to forget writing to you at least once a day" he said with a smile through the tears.

"So does that mean you will write once a day?" Ron asked with a strained smile as Harry moved forward in a rare show of physical expression and gave him a one armed hug "yes I will…so much so that you are going to start hating my letters and by the way talking of letters, I really need to get started" he said.

By now however, they had started to garner a lot of curious looks from the other Gryffindors who realized that something major was brewing with the trio but could not hazard a guess as to what. Hermione noticed the looks and knew that they had to wind up their discussion soon "Okay guys why don't we head down to dinner now" she said giving a meaningful look at the room "after which I will start on the agreement and you can start on your letter Harry. We will compare notes tomorrow" she said getting up to take her leave.

The boys got up too at her behest and made their way to the Great Hall just as the other Gryffindors who were doing the same.

 **Author notes:**

Thank you so much for the support and encouragement. Each one of the reviews is precious to me and whenever I feel my spirit flagging all that I do is go back to the reviews. So do keep the reviews coming and for all you know that might become my inspiration for the future chapters. A mighty thanks to everyone out there who have either favorited or followed the story or done both as well…thanks! Here's one more chapter and I hope it has made for an interesting read.


	7. Chapter 7 one step forward

**Chapter 7**

 **One step forward**

As the night approached Harry found himself sitting once again at his desk writing a note to Draco Malfoy.

 _Malfoy,_

 _I am agreeable to the terms laid out and would like to ask you to come to the room of requirement at 6.30 pm tomorrow so that the rest of the details can be taken care of._

 _Harry Potter._

He did not bother mentioning that his friends would be there. Malfoy just had to live with it. He laid the parchment on his desk and went to bed hoping that Hermione had indeed drafted the agreement by then.

At the other end of the girl's dormitory Hermione sat looking at her parchment looking for loopholes in what she had written. She read it again in the hope of catching any inconsistency.

 _I Draco Malfoy, willingly and with full awareness of the consequences hereby enter into an agreement with Harry James Potter wherein I receive a no objection letter from Albus Dumbledore at the behest of Harry Potter. The said no objection letter would help me gain passage to the Durmstrang Institute of wizardry._

 _In exchange I promise to hand over the location of Durmstrang Institute of wizardry to Harry Potter to use as he sees fit. I also promise that the information regarding Harry Potter will not be used in any way to bring harm to him in any form whether by myself directly or by others through me. I also understand that in the event where the terms are violated I stand to lose my magical ability as the magical nature of the agreement comes into effect._

 _Draco Malfoy Harry James Potter_

Written down like that, it did feel a little silly but the _y_ might come to appreciate it in case Malfoy did decide to betray them. Better to be safe than sorry she decided. In fact Malfoy being who he is, she thought, would understand the nature of such agreements even better than they did. The fact that he had suggested it was by itself an indicator of his good intention she acknowledged reluctantly.

However the reason as to why he would leave Hogwarts was not a subject that she felt like dwelling upon late in the night as she yawned and got into bed.

The morning found a droopy eyed Hermione with an equally droopy eyed Harry Potter trying to keep up to speed with Ron. But soon they were wide awake as the school owl once again delivered a letter to Draco Malfoy which he acknowledged with a very imperceptible nod in Harry's direction. The trio caught the action only because they were looking for it as did Severus Snape who had also been tracking the drama that had been playing out the last few days.

He felt the faint stirring of alarm coil in his stomach as his suspicions were getting even more affirmed by the day. The blasted trio was indeed hatching something with the Slytherin snake and he had no idea what it was. What could possibly _Harry Potter_ have to do with _Draco Malfoy_? He wondered. When did those two call a truce enough to even talk civilly he wondered.

However the day blurred past for the players involved as they found themselves close to 6.30 too soon for their comfort. Hermione had shown them the agreement earlier and they had found no loopholes worth mentioning. So it was with a fair amount of nervousness that the trio found themselves going to the room of requirement.

They were pleasantly surprised when the room aligned itself to an office providing a desk and chairs with some stationary thrown in. When the time came they were not surprised to see Draco Malfoy saunter in well dressed as ever. "Not a gelled hair out of place" according to Ron.

"Could not avoid the guard dogs this time huh Potter?" he drawled in the traditional Malfoyish way. "I guess you would not be able to make out the difference between friends and followers with your track record" Harry returned as Draco smirked.

"Touché. So do we have the agreement? I would rather leave as soon as I can" he said disdainfully examining his nails. Hermione immediately produced the documents which Draco took with a wary expression. He perused the document quickly his expression as calm and collected as ever.

"Well well well…and here I thought trust came easily to Gryffindors" he said "but let it not be said that Slytherins do not keep their word. This agreement sounds fine Granger…here let me sign this" he said holding out his quill and signing the document with a flourish. He then handed the quill to Harry so that he may sign too "for my peace of mind Potter. You wouldn't deprive a bloke of that would you?" he smirked with a hint of his usual arrogance seeping through.

Harry added his name to the parchment before turning to Draco Malfoy again. "Thank you Malfoy. So the address…?" Harry prompted not able to believe that the Slytherin had actually signed the document just like that. Perhaps he was more serious than he let on about going to Durmstrang. If all went according to plan he was going to have _Draco Malfoy_ as a schoolmate at a strange place? The thought was mind boggling to say the least. But lately his life had been indeed stranger than fiction.

Malfoy held out a piece of parchment with the address neatly inked in. "I would suggest that you copy that down your own script. I would rather not have the parchment with my handwriting lying around where it could fall into the wrong hands" he said coolly.

"Afraid that your evil intentions would come to light huh Malfoy"? Ron asked in a voice that did not speak of trust. "I do not expect the intricacies of such an agreement to be understood by _you_ Weasel" Draco retorted harshly as he continued "but I am sure Granger here understands the seriousness of the situation. What I do want to make clear is that in the event of this whole _arrangement_ coming to light I will totally deny my involvement in any form. Do you understand?" he said a note of cold anger coloring his words.

"Coward!" Ron spat his ears turning a dangerous shade of red and Harry seeing the beginning of an argument decided that it was time to step in. "I understand Malfoy. _We…_ understand. You have my word. All of this does not leave this room and I speak for my friends too" he said calmly as he took the parchment carefully.

Draco Malfoy's face that had flashed with anger a few minutes before slowly became blank with imposed calm. "Fine Potter …although it's funny that I trust your word rather than having an agreement of my own. I do know that you are a man of honor and all that nonsense that you Gryffindorks believe in. Now I do not know about you but I do have other things to get to. So if you will excuse me I will get to my task and I hope that you will keep to your end of the bargain at the earliest. Time is of the essence for both of us after all" he declared loftily as he made his way out.

Once he was out the three friends looked at each other. Harry exhaled and sank down into the couch as his friends did too, grateful to escape the tenseness of the last few minutes. "Well that was enlightening" Hermione commented as Ron grunted "if you say so".

Harry looked at the parchment in his hand "Now that we have the address let's get onto the memory spell after which I will have to send the letter. Come on guys we don't have much time…all this procedure is taking too much time as it is" he muttered.

"I am not sorry for that at all" Ron muttered as Harry looked at him sadly. All this procedure was weakening his resolve by the day and he hoped that he would not lose it completely. No he told himself this was something he had to do for his own sake.

"Well we need vials and a pensieve Harry" Hermione commented after which there was a whiz in the air and they were not surprised to see some vials sitting on the desk next to their chairs. But what truly surprised them was the presence of a small pensieve as well. "I did not know that the room could provide magical objects!" Hermione exclaimed with a gleam in her eyes. Harry and Ron looked at each other and shrugged. Well neither did they.

Harry stood up and clutched his wand. "Well here goes nothing" he said at the same time that Hermione reminded "remember the spell is _detraheret momoriae"._ He made the necessary wand motion and rested it on his temple. He then concentrated on the memories that he wanted to remove not realizing that on seeing the images in his mind, his face had screwed up and there were silent tears gathering under his eyelids.

After a few minutes he disengaged the films of memory and directed them into the vials. He stoppered the vial and labeled it before turning to his friends faces now etched with concern. Dimly he wiped the tears on his face "sorry guys…that was a bit hard" he said weakly as Hermione held him in a hug.

He then repeated the procedure once again with the same result only this time the tears came swifter and faster. "Sorry" he muttered, aware of his friends laying a hand on him to offer support and was grateful for their presence when he was done with the second vial as well.

"Guys I hate to say this but we are running late. It will be a close call with the curfew and we need to go now" Ron said softly breaking the silence that had descended. Harry roused himself from the momentary stupor that he had falling into and quickly wished the pensieve away. Placing the vials in his pocket they quickly made their way to the tower where Hermione made her way to the girl's section and the boys went to theirs.

 **Author note** : okay things are moving a bit with the school change. Thank you for the great response! I also realized that not everyone is happy with the story but your point is well taken. I do hope you will stay on if not for anything else than to steer me right. But yes I do have a definite idea on where to go and hope to see you all at the end as well as on the journey. Ciao!


	8. Chapter 8 A turning point

**Chapter 8 A turning point**

Harry woke up with a vague feeling that there was something momentous about the day. For one thing he had to owl the Durmstrang letter and the other thing was that he had a feeling that a meeting with Dumbledore was likely in the works. He however had no time to waste and concentrated on getting ready followed by a grumpy Ron who would have preferred to lounge in bed a little longer.

Leaving Ron to get ready, Harry made his way to the owlery. Confronted with a miffed Hedwig; he had to work at placating her before she would consent to take his mail. However she did consent and Harry came back to the tower not knowing whether he should feel happy or sad. Happy because he was making headway on his plans and sad because each step was a step away from the only home he knew. He shook his head, there would be plenty of time to mope later, now he had to get to breakfast.

Ron and Hermione joined him as they made their way to the Great Hall and took their usual spots at the table. Breakfast went the usual way with idle chatter although Harry could not help sneaking a glance at the Slytherin table.

Ron noticed the look "I still can't believe he signed the you –know- what mate" he muttered under his breath. "Actually neither can I" Harry answered. "So when do you reckon you will get a reply"? Ron asked. Harry shrugged "I am still not sure where exactly it is located. I just had the impression that it is somewhere near Russia. Am I right Hermione?" he asked turning to her.

"Yes Harry it is somewhere there …I just hope Hedwig is fine. It is a very long flight after all. Pass me the pancake will you" she said in reply. Just as Harry reached for the pancake he was distracted by the appearance of a rather dignified owl carrying mail with familiar writing on the envelope. "Who is that from?" Ron enquired. "Seems to be from Dumbledore" Harry said reaching forward and releasing the parchment. Quickly he read through the familiar script which read

 _Dear ,_

 _It would be appreciated if you could join me for a discussion in my office at 10 am. I do hope everything is going on well in your classes. Might I remind you that I enjoy "mars bars" and would recommend the same._

 _Regards_

 _Albus Dumbledore_.

"Well the inquisition is here" Harry quipped as Hermione looked worried. "Harry you did not even check the vials in the pensieve" she said. "There is no time for all that now Hermione. You guys go on ahead to your classes and l will see you after my meeting with Dumbledore. Get going now" he urged. "Are you sure it's ok mate. We could go with you, you know" Ron offered. "Ron it's alright. Just go" Harry said pushing Ron forward. His friends reluctantly left giving him doleful looks.

He then quickly went to the tower where he gathered the vial and rushed to the room of requirement. He had half an hour to go and if he was fast he could quickly check the vial to see if any memory more than intended had passed through. Once inside he wished for the pensieve and dived in after pouring in the contents. He skimmed through the memories and came out panting. For a first attempt it was not bad at all he acknowledged. Only what he had wanted had gone into the vial.

Exiting the room he made his way to Dumbledore's office. Soon he was seated opposite Dumbledore who was looking at him speculatively over the rim of his glasses.

"How are you my boy? Lemon drop?" he offered solicitously. Harry shook his head "No professor. Thank you I am good" he responded. "Do you know why you are here Harry?" Dumbledore asked in a quiet voice. The twinkle in his eyes was muted.

"I think I do Sir" Harry offered and waited for Dumbledore to forge ahead as he rehearsed the answer in his head. It had seemed very clear cut all this while but here in Dumbledore's office and looking at the kind wizard he felt a little shaken.

"So may I ask why you have not been attending the potions classes" Dumbledore enquired as Harry took a deep breath. Here was the moment of reckoning. "With all due respect, I did not quite see the point Professor" he said softly.

"And why would you feel this way Harry?, I assume you know the importance of potions to a career such as what you aspire to have" Dumbledore stressed. Harry breathed a small sigh of relief, now this was something for which he had an answer.

"For precisely that reason, I feel the need to do my own preparation for my future Sir" he said. "I am afraid that I do not understand you my boy. What do you hope to gain and what do you mean by your own preparations. Kindly Explain" Dumbledore said looking pointedly at Harry.

"I have been studying on my own Sir" harry responded and was not surprised when Dumbledore asked "and you feel that will be enough to take on your Newt levels? Harry I am sorry but I feel the need to disburse you of such a notion. Professor Snape is a very knowledgeable man and you stand to gain a lot by his teaching. I am sorry to say that I find your reasoning unacceptable" he said firmly.

Harry felt his temper rise. This was so infuriating; the old wizard was not even considering the fact that something was wrong. Well he would he would have to do his own disbursing of notions it seemed.

"No Sir, I don't mean to imply that I will take the newts by myself. I do realize that I need a proper teacher which is why I have decided to transfer to Durmstrang" he said and noted with satisfaction that Dumbledore looked quite startled. "Durmstrang my boy? Why such a drastic thought if I may ask?" Dumbledore's voice was indicative of the fact that he had not taken the words seriously.

"Well Sir I do need to learn potions as you just pointed out and I need to do it in a place where I can _actually_ learn. Right now Hogwarts does not seem to qualify and Durmstrang is the only other institute where I can go" Harry put forward in an even voice.

"I am sorry Harry but I really cannot condone such an action and I still do not understand what made you consider such an action. I do know that you and professor Snape do not see eye to eye and that Severus could be a harsh man at times. Perhaps I can speak to him?" Dumbledore offered tentatively.

Harry closed his eyes and took a calming breath. This was not the time to lose his cool. That would only make his argument weak. "Professor, you misunderstand me .I am not asking for permission. I am informing you of my decision. In fact I have already written to Durmstrang" Harry said in a rush.

"At your age sometimes simple situations seem dire …I am sure professor Snape only had your best interests at heart. Are you sure that you are not rushing into situation? " Dumbledore asked with a twinkle in his eye and Harry knew that could not control himself any longer.

He felt cold anger sweep through him as he burst out " _Best_ _interest_?he verbally abused me for five years..That's what he did and I had enough of it" he shouted. His skin was flushed with the heat of his anger and his eyes were flashing with rage.

"Harry, Harry my boy..calm down. Those are strong allegations indeed and you should be happy that I am still listening to you. But I want you to desist in this endeavor of yours right now and concentrate on getting back to your studies. Now I will have words with Professor Snape but you will give up this foolish quest of yours. I do not need to remind you of how important safety issues are for someone like you and I do care about you to let you endanger yourself like this" Dumbledore said.

" _Care about me_?If that is the case why haven't you ever spoken to Professor Snape before? You knew that things were not smooth between us and yet you did not think of speaking to him about it. If you really care about me why has it taken a situation like this for you to have words with Snape? I am sure that he must have complained about me enough times to warrant a discussion" Harry ranted. He was furious and it bled into his voice. His magic was getting stirred and the air in the office was tense.

"There are many things that you are not aware of Harry" Dumbledore started but Harry intervened "And pardon me but there are a lot of things that you are not either aware of or have not deemed important to know about….Sir" he said hotly.

"What am I not aware of Harry…enlighten me" Dumbledore said. "You are not _aware_ of the ridicule that I was subjected to each and every potions class for five long years…you are not aware of the fact that everything wrong in that class was _always, always_ my fault. Why? Why haven't you questioned him? Why were you not bothered to look….not bothered to know….I know,.. because I am the boy-who-everyone takes for granted" Harry responded awash in emotion that was stifling him in it's intensity.

"This is Harry, he always forgives, so we can say anything to him…anything about him. He would survive, live through it….Yes I live through it though there have been times when I wished that I did not" by this time his eyes were watering and his voice had broken at the end of it.

He swiped his hand over his eyes. Dumbledore who had a startled look had risen from his seat and now softly laid a hand on Harry's shoulder. "I am sorry that you feel this way Harry but you must know that there are a lot of people who love you and care for you" he said.

"I am sorry Sir, I don't agree with you. Yes there are people who care for me no doubt, but they are no one who can question what happens in Hogwarts. They are not my parents and they are not my guardians. If what happened to me happened to say Draco Malfoy you would have had to answer to Lucius Malfoy…but there is no one to speak for me here is it?" Harry lashed out his anger pouring forth.

"You could have spoken to me Harry. You could have come to me." Dumbledore said softly. Harry snorted "I have come to you now Sir and you have spent the last fifteen minutes telling me that Snape could not be at fault. You are not even willing to consider what I have to say…how can I come to you Sir?" Harry asked and dimly saw the regret and realization flashing through Dumbledore's eyes.

"So I have" Dumbledore said heavily sinking into his chair "It seems that I have much to atone for. Do tell me and I will listen Harry I Promise." he said his voice heavy with regret.

"I will do better than talk Sir. Please take a look at these Professor and then I promise we will talk because after all Snape's words are taken credibly because he is the adult and my words are those of a child are they not?" Harry replied as he placed the vial of memories on Dumbledore's table. Dumbledore could not refute the truth of the statement and fell silent briefly.

"Your words are good enough Harry. I will not doubt them" Dumbledore said softly but Harry shook his head. "Thank you sir, but you need to see these just so you know" he reiterated.

"As you wish my boy, as you wish" Dumbledore said as he summoned his pensieve and poured the memories in. "I have to admit that I am impressed Harry but are you sure that you will not accompany me?".

Harry silently shook his head "I don't think I want to see it again Sir". Dumbledore nodded and dipped his head in the swirling liquid.

Harry thought about the contents in the liquid. He could remember every incident as if it had happened just the previous day. His very first potions lesson and getting ridiculed for not knowing the answer. The class in second year where Snape banished his perfect potion because he must have cheated. The innumerable classes where he was the arrogant prince Potter who was the spawn of the insufferable James Potter..he could almost hear Snape's voice "arrogant and lazy like your precious father, good deal of good that it did him"…. "Prince Potter unable to adhere to rules like your arrogant father" it went on and on.

The detention where he had been made to kneel in a corner and write lines for no fault of his. He had been unable to get up after spending the better part of three hours on his knees and had ultimately made his way back to the tower all bruised and bloody. What had made the detention truly unbearable were the snide remarks that Snape had passed as he had mocked Harry's attempts to get back on his feet.

There was the memory of his third year where in a rare moment of weakness he had considered using polyjuice to look like someone else in potions class and then not having the heart to besmirch the memory of his father…. "Perhaps if I did not look like James Potter he will not hate me so much" he had said to Ron. At that time he had not seen the sad look on Ron's face but when he had glanced at the memory that morning he had noticed how his friend had felt for him.

And of course the abominable occlumency classes where he had begged for a respite and had been continually denied. The nights where he had staggered into the common room and had to be helped to bed by Ron.

And then the final straw that had broken the camel's back…the very last occlumency lesson which had pushed him to his decision. He was very aware of the silence in the room as he relived the memories and it was after a good half an hour that Dumbledore resurfaced looking thoroughly distressed and defeated. Harry had never seen the old wizard look so pale and shaken.

His eyes were haunted and Harry was startled to see his eyes misted over. No, he had not wanted to cause anyone distress…he had merely wanted to share his and to see Dumbledore like this was not comforting. Dumbledore was meant to always look strong and magnetic, not broken and defeated like this.

"Sir.." he started but stopped as Dumbledore held up a hand asking for silence "How could I have been so blind I do not know. As the responsibilities become bigger it seems so do the mistakes. We old people are sometimes so secure in thinking that we know better that we forget that wisdom has no age. I regret to say that I do now understand your reluctance in attending potions. I am tempted to offer a private tutor for you, but then I would have to offer the same for other students and I am afraid that too many would opt for it".

"I had no idea that Severus had carried this much of hate in his heart Harry and I deeply apologise for it. Unwittingly I have been the cause of much pain to you and now I am afraid it's too late to set it right. You are right, had your parents been alive this would not have happened. I should have taken their place and done the right thing for you but I have been most remiss in that task."

"I have forced you to look out for yourself and I am proud of the man you are growing into. Now you tell me what I can do and I promise that I will not stand in the way" he said looking every inch the hundred years that he had crossed.

Harry looked away from the kind blue eyes lest he become undone. Dumbledore was making it very difficult to walk away indeed. For a moment he was tempted to let everything pass and just slip back into his classes and life but he had already sent the letter and come too far mentally to go back. If he did go back it would be neither here nor there. He knew that his feelings about Hogwarts had changed now and it no longer as much of a home.

"I did not mean to place the blame at anyone's door Sir. Maybe I am just not tough enough Merlin knows. But I _would_ like to think that there might be a life for me after Voldemort, remote as it sounds and I do need potions to do anything of my career. At this moment it seems a good idea to go to Durmstrang, it might even be good to know a bit about the Dark arts God knows!" Harry said in a soft voice and paused to gather his thoughts as he spoke.

"Sir I also want you to know that I do not intend running away from the prophecy. I will come back at the end of Durmstrang or if needed even earlier and do my best for the wizarding world. If I survive well and good, if not I would like to die where my friends are" Harry said in a strong voice determined not to sound sad.

Dumbledore sighed sadly "I rue this world where a young boy talks of death and I want you to know that your bravery has never been doubted Harry. I am the one who has failed you my child and I would like a chance to do something for you".

"In that case Sir, would you be amenable to giving me a no objection letter allowing me transfer to Durmstrang"?

"I will do better than that Harry…I will give my personal recommendation to the Doyen who does happen to be my friend although I do wish that there is a different solution to this problem. I would also like you to know that you need no protocol or invitation to come back at any time. This is your home Harry even though I am sorry that you have stopped feeling that. Now is that all?" Dumbledore asked.

"Thank you sir. _Err_ …There is one more thing that I need help with although it is not for me that I ask" Harry said fidgeting as Dumbledore raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "Once I leave Hogwarts you might receive a similar request from Draco Malfoy. Please issue him a no objection certificate too Professor" Harry said blushing a bright red.

A small smile graced Dumbledore's features "Well it does seem to be a season of change. If Draco Malfoy approaches me I assure you that he will be treated as any other student of Hogwarts and if he has a convincing reason to go to Durmstrang then I really cannot stop him. But are you sure that this is something that you are okay with my boy?"

"I don't know Sir, for some reason he seems to be equally desperate to get away. Would you happen to know why?" Harry took a bold shot and was surprised when Dumbledore said "yes I might have an idea as to why he would want to leave Britain but in light of my recent mistakes let me not put forth my assumptions. I have been shown to be fallible lately" he said with a smile.

"Would you also be speaking to Professor Snape sir?" Harry asked with slight trepidation. "In all probability yes but why do you ask my boy?" Dumbledore asked with mild curiosity. Harry took out the other vial that he had carried and placed it on the table.

"I see, is there anything you want to be conveyed with that?" the old wizard asked. "Just one question Sir…where is the prince?..Just that sir" Harry replied sadly.

"In that case I will keep the letter ready for your asking and I do believe it is time for me to have a discussion with your potions professor. This time when I say that my doors are open to you I do mean it Harry. I hope that you will reconsider the decision and even if not Hogwarts will always stand behind you my boy" Dumbledore said regret lacing his voice.

"Thank you sir" Harry said awkwardly and slowly made his way out of the room. This had been one hell of a discussion, the only difficult part was that he was not sure if he had won or lost.

 **Author notes:** As ever I thank every reader who has taken the time to read this very humble script of mine. This chapter was quite intense to write and I would like to know how it fares with you wonderful readers out there. So I am going to keep my eyes peeled on my inbox and hope to see the love and affection! Ciao and stay tuned for the next chapter…nice reviews do get me all spurred on (evil laugh)!


	9. Chapter 9 : the truth as it is

**Chapter 9**

 **The truth as it is**

In his undeniably long life there had been a handful of situations that had shocked Albus Dumbledore and his meeting with Harry Potter had been one such. He leaned back in his seat and felt the waves of remorse and guilt wash through him. He had truly not known the depth of Severus's prejudice and he had not anticipated those feelings to be so strong even after all these years. He had been woefully insufficient in recognizing the signs and perhaps it was time that he had the long overdue conversation with one Severus Snape. This amount of vitriol would undoubtedly kill the wizard from the inside and would do no one any favours.

At the same time Severus was not the man who would take accusations lightly and the last thing anyone needed was to make him any more anti Potter. Dumbledore ruminated over this small problem and came to a decision. He went to the pensieve and closing his eyes; he waved his wand in a complicated motion and sat back in apparent satisfaction. He then sent a patronus to Severus Snape asking him to come to his office for a discussion that he was definitely not looking forward to.

It was not long before the long frame of Severus Snape was seated in the headmaster's office looking expectantly at him. "Good morning Severus. I have just had a very enlightening discussion with one of the students and I want you to have a look at the memories that he provided me with. I would like your opinion on the matter"…he said gesturing to the pensieve.

"Is it Potter?" Severus asked in a resigned voice. He had been expecting a discussion and perhaps this was it. "Why do you ask Severus? Is there something that I should know about?" Dumbledore replied and Severus dimly noted the lack of twinkle in the man's eyes. An uneasy foreboding rose in his gut as he reluctantly rose to accompany the old man into the pensieve.

"No Albus. I was just wondering as to what issue could there be that would require my input?" he asked weakly. "You will see my boy" Dumbledore said cryptically and Severus wondered whether the hat was right in the sorting all those years ago.

Soon he was inside the pensieve and he saw a teacher berate a student and assign unfair punishments. The face of the student as well as the teacher was not familiar to him although the punishments and the words spoken were very reminiscent of what he had had with Harry Potter. But seeing the events from a third person point of view even he was shocked.

The anger and derision that dripped from the teacher's face was almost toxic. _Had he looked like that?_ The events and words were too familiar to not be him and this was Dumbledore's way of making him see what he had become. regret and guilt swirled through him anew and a sharp spike of pain stuck his chest when he saw the student wonder if he should polyjuice himself to avoid ridicule….Had he really pushed Potter to that? What kind of a man had he become and at that moment, he seemed to be more monster than human in his own eyes.

Had he changed _that_ much that there was nothing human left in him? The punishments that he had given now seemed drastically excessive and _why_ did he mock Potter when he was suffering? It truly seemed that he had become the death eater that he pretended to be. He had not wanted to acknowledge the pain that he had caused and he could not pretend that he had not seen the pain in the boy's eyes whenever he had ridiculed him.

He could not fool himself and say that he had not noticed the boy being weak after the so called occlumency lessons. He felt deep shame as he reluctantly acknowledged that he had used the lessons to torture the boy. It had been nothing less than that. He had wanted to hurt and bring down the boy and _what a job he had done_ …he had truly stuck the blow and had felt a false sense of victory. Had he really sunk that low that he had reveled in causing another pain? And not a criminal or deserving candidate either, he told himself but a mere boy. He should have risen above the prejudice but had instead allowed it to rule over him.

For the first time in years he felt moisture rise in his eyes. He shuddered to think what Lily would do if she was here. She would hex him senseless and hex him again when he awoke he thought with a faint smile.

He shook his head as he envisioned her and sadly exited the pensieve. He had hardly glanced at the headmaster and he could feel his gaze piecing through him. He deserved every word of reproach and steeled himself for the disappointment in the old man's gaze. However he also felt a dim sense of respect for Potter in standing up to him and felt relieved that he had not broken the boy totally. His spirit had survived and he wowed that he would do what he could to rectify the situation in the future and start acting like the adult that he was. Right now it was Potter who was more mature and he wondered if he would ever be forgiven for chasing the boy out of his home.

"This boy has now asked to change his school. What are your thoughts Severus?" Dumbledore said looking at Snape thoughtfully trying to gauge the other man's thoughts. The raw emotion on the potion master's face was answer enough but Albus Dumbledore was not quite done. He was angry with the man but he was not the only one at fault.

"Please let's stop playing games Albus" Severus snapped before adding in a softer voice "Does Potter really want to leave Hogwarts?" he asked in a fearful whisper afraid of the answer.

"Can you really blame him Severus?" Dumbledore asked keeping his gaze on the potions master. Severus shook his head mutely "what do you plan to do?" he asked and almost knew the answer before it was spoken aloud. "I plan to give him what he wants….Merlin knows I am equally at fault in that child's case. Why Severus?"...he paused delicately "It's a question that I should have asked you a long time ago but in my naiveté I believed that you would be able to separate the father and child but _so_ much hate Severus? For the man who gave his life to save the woman you loved? Severus I implore you, give up the hate and search for the love that you once had in your heart" The words were scathing and for the first time Severus Snape was subject to the power and restrained anger that emanated from the old wizard. He squirmed in his seat; there was nothing he could say in his defense.

"I am sorry Albus, I let my prejudice overcome me" he said "I am not the one who needs your apology Severus" Albus Dumbledore snapped back before saying "however you need to know that he had asked to transfer to Durmstrang and I have endorsed it".

"But he won't be safe Albus…you have to dissuade him" Severus said in alarm. "He had a strong case and I am afraid that you will get your wish for a Potter free zone" the sharp words seemed ill fitting to Albus Dumbledore but Severus knew that he deserved it.

"Should I speak to him…Albus help me, I don't know what to do. I never meant for him to leave Hogwarts" he looked up with haunted eyes. Dumbledore looked at him with pity in his eyes "There's nothing to be done now my boy. But if he chooses to come back we will have to let him know that this is his home. And Severus there is one more reason that I called you here. We have lost one student and I don't want to lose one more in the form of Neville Longbottom. I don't want to make the same mistake again and hereby take this as a warning that I do not take kindly to ridicule and slander of any student in Hogwarts by teacher or student. I speak this as headmaster of the school and there will be consequences to your actions from now on" he said sternly.

Severus nodded suitably chastised. "Is there no way that I can make amends Albus?" he asked feeling miserable. "Not right now but there is something that Harry wanted you to see" Dumbledore said laying the vial of memories meant for Severus on the table.

"That's it then?" he asked not knowing what he was waiting for but Dumbledore had something more to say "He asked you to answer the question where's the prince?".Severus was puzzled "Did you take a look at it? Do you know what it means?" he asked.

"Of course not. These were meant for you" Dumbledore said simply. "Accompany me then…please" Severus requested. Dumbledore acquiesced and they once more went into the pensieve wondering as to what more have they failed to learn.

They landed in the foyer of a well kept house, and by the looks of it muggle. The house was ridiculously clean as if someone had obsessed over it. They ventured inside and saw an obese man sitting at the dining table with the paper in his hand. An equally obese child of about seven was seated across from him and demanding food quite obnoxiously. A thin tall woman flitted into the kitchen where Severus saw to his immense shock a messy haired Harry Potter rapidly trying to transfer the contents of a pan onto a plate.

"Boy! Go serve it fast" She snapped as Potter scurried to do her bidding. He placed the plate on the table and rushed to get a third serving when he saw his aunt taking her place at the table. They saw him stand tentatively to the side of the table and Severus's sharp eyes noted the lack of a fourth setting at the table. He looked at the headmaster and saw the twinkle die down in his eyes as he seemed to have noted the same.

Once the family had finished the food where the young blubber boy had taken seconds and thirds, Harry came in with the coffee for his uncle. Severus saw the blond haired menace strike out a leg in Potter's path and opened his mouth to warn the little boy but came back to reality when the headmaster laid a hand on his arm.

With a sinking heart and knowing that there was nothing that he could do he saw the coffee spill over the obese man. The man got to his feet in a towering rage as Potter visibly shrank back from him. Severus felt an insane fury sweep through him as the man viciously backhanded the too-small-for his age Potter and sent him sprawling to the floor while screaming a host of obscenities at the small boy.

" _Freak!_!Not able to be useful in any way…what a waste of space! You ungrateful lout…stop moping and get this cleaned up and then get started on your chores. Two days of no food will set you straight. Do you understand?" he screamed as Potter slowly got to his feet keeping his eyes averted from his uncle. His lip had split open and he had a palm shaped bruise on his cheek. Unshed tears threatened to spill over but Potter was biting his lip keeping the tears at bay.

"What do you understand boy? Speak up" the uncle taunted with a cruel glint in his eye "do my chores and no food for two days" Potter's voice came out small and fearful. "Get started right now. If they are not done by the time I am back you will pay for it" the uncle threatened shoving a piece of paper into the little boy's hands. Severus just had time to peek into a very long list of chores in the boy's hand.

Potter seemed to shrink even further at the threat and he immediately started cleaning up the mess. Severus Snape stood feeling sick at what he had witnessed and did not even register that the scene had shifted. His assumptions were falling around his ears and his world was shifting in perspective.

He was startled to suddenly find himself in the yard as the memory shifted and Potter was crouched over the weeds. The boy looked weak and exhausted and Severus felt a wave of anger course through him as he realized that the boy must have worked through the day on an empty stomach. He kept casting fearful glances at the driveway and almost froze with fear when he saw his uncle's car drive in. He tried to finish the weeding in a frenzy but was soon startled out of it when he heard his uncle bellowing " ** _BOY! Get in here now_**!".

His shoulders slumped in defeat and he dragged his feet into the house. Severus and the headmaster followed not quite wanting to see what would undoubtedly follow. " _I see you haven't finished the chores you lazy worthless freak!_ We put a roof over your head and give the clothes off our back and _this_ is how you repay us?You know what the punishment for this is. Go to the porch and be like that till morning...if you dare disobey, the consequences will not be pretty" he thundered. "Please uncle…I didn't mean to be late" Potter pleaded weakly but was silenced by the venomous glare that he received as the uncle simply said " ** _now_**!".

"Be like what?" Severus wondered in bafflement but the question was answered when Potter went to the porch and kneeled down hanging his head and biting his lip again to contain the outbreak of tears. Severus felt a wave of nausea as he remembered that he had used the same punishment on Potter and immediately felt sick. _Oh Merlin_! What had he done! How much must he have hurt that boy…tears rose unbidden for the hardship that the little boy was going through and for what he had caused. He found the uncle despicable and if he had done the same thing then he must be despicable too. "Oh my God! Albus what have I done?" he lamented in a whisper and saw that the headmaster had tears in his eyes as well "Not just you Severus…what have I done?".

"I don't want to see more Albus" Severus whispered but knew that he now owed the boy at least that courtesy. So he fell silent as they were pushed onto the next memory to confront a twelve year old Potter. The scene almost looked the same as Potter stood before a raging more obese uncle. "How dare you spoil the dinner with your freakishness! You will pay for that boy! Upstairs now!" he ordered and Severus vaguely remembered the incident where an underage Potter was supposed to have used magic over the holidays.

Potter and his friend had come to school on that blasted car and he now felt ashamed that he had pushed for the boy's expulsion. In retrospect he was grateful that Dumbledore had not listened to him, for Potter would have been locked in with this family for the whole year.

There was no telling what would have happened as even now he reluctantly followed the headmaster up the rickety stairs to see a small room with multiple padlocks on the door. Once again he felt sadness overtake him as he realized that this must be Potter's room and he was almost afraid to guess the purpose of the locks.

" _How dare you spoil everything with your freakishness!I will make you normal if I have to beat it out of you…_ this is the last time I warn you boy!" the man was shouting at the top of his voice. "I didn't do it Uncle…please" Potter's voice only seemed to inflame the disgusting man further. "You dare speak back to me! I will teach you your place if it is the last thing I do" the man raged as he hit the boy across the face. Potter stumbled and did not fall down but he was not prepared for what happened next.

Severus felt frantic with worry as he saw the evil giant remove his belt and bring it down on the boy. Potter looked up with surprise not having expected the blow as the second one rained down almost immediately. He saw the boy try to shield his face as the belt came down repeatedly on his chest, back and legs. By the time the beating was over the boy was on the ground and curled into a ball pleading with his uncle for mercy. The snowy owl in the cage flapped her wings becoming agitated over what her master was suffering and Severus could identify with the emotion pretty well. Abuse was not new to him he mused as he stood and watched the memory shift again.

The memory shifted a bit and Severus saw that it was a few days ahead. They were in the same room and this time Severus looked around. The room was small, with a bed that no decent human being would sleep on and a torn ragged blanket that would serve no purpose. The room was dark as there were now bars on the windows and to his utter rage a cat flap on the door. _What kind of monsters were these people?_

Potter was sitting on the floor looking wan and weak. He seemed to be just skin and bones and the clothes that he wore were clearly the other boy' s as quite a few Potters would have fit into them. He was however brought out of his observation as the cat flap was lifted and a can of soup was shoved in.

Potter did not seem to be surprised by this as he slowly moved to the can and took out the pieces of meat and gave it to his owl "I am sorry Hedwig. This is all we get today. I know it is not much but I promise that I will set it right when we get to Hogwarts" he whispered as he drank the liquid portion of the soup.

Bloody Gryffindor! Severus cursed and then the anger took hold of a different thought "Did you know of this Albus?" he asked looking askance at the headmaster who had been grappling with his own guilt. "No Severus …I had no idea. It seems that I have much to atone for" he said in a voice laden with regret.

"They are treating him like an elf Albus. How can we allow this? They are monsters..How can they treat a child like this ?" the words came out shocked as he continued "I am not sure I am ready for any more of this Albus" he confessed quietly.

"No Severus we need to know how deep this goes…how much has to be set right in the poor boy's mind. I owe it to Lily and James" the headmaster said as the scene shifted relentlessly taking them to the next memory.

 **Author notes** : I am immensely thankful for the lovely words and follows that you have given the story…a 103 followers…wow .I am truly humbled. I am sorry for the delay (yet again) and wow to do better in the future. The next chapter will be a continuation of this one so stay tuned and thanks once again. I know I might be contradicting myself a bit here but the next chapter will be a couple weeks in coming as I am going to be touring for the next 10 days! I will be in Europe and hope to get a bit of insight into London that might help in the writing!Ciao and take care.


	10. Chapter 10 The goal is in sight

**Chapter 10 The goal is in sight**

 **Legal disclaimer:** I own none of the characters, simply the plot for this story.

Severus and Dumbledore tensed unconsciously as the memory shifted and they found once more in the yard of the blasted muggle house. Only this time it was winter and there was a blanket of snow in the garden. The two wizards however were in no mood to appreciate the scenery as they heard the predictable loud voice of the uncle. _Oh how he hated the_ _man_! Severus thought. He promised himself that he would avenge Potter someday when he visited this vile obese man as he strained to hear the words.

But he did not have to wait long as the porch door was thrown open and Potter was roughly pushed outside. Severus moved to steady the stumbling teen without a thought before reality hit as his hand went through the young boy. He felt a spark of anger as he heard the obese man spout vile obscenitites. _"You don't deserve to be inside the house you freak! Spending a night outside will teach you to be more respectful_ " he thundered. Severus felt his heart wrench as he realized that Potter …the spirited Gryffindor who had stood up to Voldemort did not even try to speak in defense.

He was further incensed to see that Potter had nothing to protect him from the freezing cold …no coat or jacket…no blanket, nothing whatsoever. Just a thin oversized t- shirt and thin pants that were already making him shiver. He felt deep concern fill him as he saw the child try to find a remotely warm spot but there was no such thing at all…He saw Potter sink to the floor with his hands around his knees looking torn and dejected as he rested his head on his knees.

He saw the child squirm and twist and turn trying to find some relief from the cold that was now sinking inexorably into him. Potter…no _Harry_ was shivering and his teeth were chattering uncontrollably as he tried to find a comfortable position. He saw the child look longingly at the shed at the far corner but then he shook his head sadly and sat where he was. As time wore on, he seemed to just become more exhausted and gave up on all attempts to escape the cold. Soon he was curled up into a ball on his side and shivering miserably even as his skin and lips started turning a light blue.

Severus Snape had seen many acts of cruelty in his life, least of all when he was a death eater. But this…this was insane. Those muggles were basically killing a boy who was their own flesh and blood. It was a difficult thought to wrap one's mind around especially when you had believed the opposite all these years. _Merlin! Had he been wrong!_ No child should have to be treated this way especially one who had already seen too much in his young life. _He was going to kill these muggles,,,_ Dumbledore be damned! He told himself grimly.

"Albus…. the cold should have killed him." He commented sadly. "How the hell did he survive and when was this by the way? He looks old enough for Hogwarts…Dosen't he stay back for Christmas holidays? What is he doing here?" he questioned, his voice reflecting the simmering rage as well as concern that was now eating at him. The fact that the thirteen year old had survived this cold made no sense….it defeated all odds but then _this was_ Harry Potter..he sighed resigned to the anomaly.

Albus Dumbledore sighed sinking deeper into the magnitude of his mistake as he said "I think this was the winter of his third year Severus….after Sirius had infiltrated Hogwarts I felt that he would be safer away from Hogwarts and sent him here. If only I had known… as for your question the answer is magic Severus. It was his magic that was protecting him. It was his magic that kept him alive" He exhaled regretfully.

Severus shook his head unable to believe the day. Both of them were culpable. Of all the crimes, he held abuse to be the worst having been a victim himself and to think that Potter had been a victim to abuse far greater than his own was mind boggling. He had no idea how the boy remained uncorrupted and it merely reflected the boy's strength of character. "He should not have to go back to this vile house ever Albus" he said as Dumbledore nodded in acquiescence "of course Severus, of course…I made a mistake and I am not planning to do it again" he said even as the memory shifted.

This was a memory of Potter in the last summer where he had had nightmares after Sirius's death and was being punished for waking up the house inmates. Severus was still digesting the fact when they were propelled back to Dumbledore's office. Severus exhaled a sigh of relief happy to be away from the muggle house and it's evil inhabitants. The experience had left him shaken and the cheerful office of the headmaster was a warm welcome to the melancholic memories that he left behind.

"So what was the question all about Severus?" Albus asked, half knowing the answer. Severus flushed "I was under the impression that he was being spoiled by his relatives and I had the habit of calling him _Prince Potter_ " he said embarrassed and also regretful. "In your typical sarcastic way I suppose" Albus quipped and added "we both have much to atone for as well as be aware of. I just hope we have not been this wrong about any other student" he said thoughtfully.

Severus sighed and rose "It is time I take leave Albus….I have much to think about and I really have no idea as to what I am going to do. For what it is worth I want you to know that I was wrong in my treatment of Potter especially in light of the memories, and if you can think of any way that I can make amends, do let me know. I am out of my depth here and it is time that I rethink my approach to my life" he said hesitantly and exited deep in thought leaving behind an equally thoughtful Albus Dumbledore.

Dumbledore sighed, his thoughts weighing on the boy that he had wronged greatly. "Forgive me lily" he whispered "I did not know that the situation was this bad. In my arrogance I stand guilty and convicted" he spoke softly as the weight of his decisions pressed upon him and for the first time in decades he felt tears making their way down his face.

Reluctantly he leaned forward and started writing to his friend and the doyen of Durmstrang. If this was the one thing that would bring some peace to the troubled teen then this he would have, he thought.

 **Harry POV**

Once the meeting with Dumbledore was over he had made his way to his makeshift potions lab and pored over his potions book. He knew that his mind was too distracted to actually try brewing anything. His mind ran over the meeting once again and he wondered if Snape had also seen his memories.

The decision to share his Privet Drive life had been one of the toughest he had had to make in his life and he hoped that it would not be wasted. He had not done it to garner any sympathy….any of it would be too late in coming but to make a point that Severus Snape should not make assumptions that were not true. Every bitter word had cut him in two and he hoped that no other student would have to face the same. If Neville for one would be treated better because of this, then his purpose would be served.

However he cut short his musing as he realized that he had been staring at the same page for more than five minutes and decided to abort his effort. Closing his page with a snort he cast a tempus to see the time and saw that it was almost time for lunch where he knew his friends would be bursting at the seams with curiosity. He had to fill them in on the events. So he quickly made his way to the Great Hall where Ron and Hermione joined him with eager faces.

"So spill mate…did you meet Dumbledore?" Ron burst out. Harry nodded and proceeded to fill in the details of his meeting with Dumbledore. Hermione fell silent and a sad look graced her features as she said "This makes it all so real. I already miss you Harry. Is this all truly necessary?" she asked quietly as Ron and Harry fell in to an uncomfortable silence.

The silence was broken by the appearance of Hedwig and Hermione gasped realizing that she was carrying a reply back. " _Merlin_! Harry that must be the reply from Durmstrang" she whispered as Harry's heart skipped a beat. All this while it had been discussions in the safety of Hogwarts and it still seemed that there was a choice but now there was proof that he would be leaving this place soon.

Ron had turned pale as Harry leaned forward to take the parchment from Hedwig.

" _Dear ,_

 _Durmstrang Institute of wizardry will be delighted in welcoming you to our institute. We are familiar with your history and understand your need for change. Once we receive the no objection letter from_ _Headmaster Dumbledore we will send details of your accommodation as well as the portkey arrangements. Hoping to see you at the earliest._

 _Ivan Vassily_

 _Doyen Durmstrang._

Harry took a deep breath as he kept the letter down. "It is now a matter of few days I think" he said his voice reflecting anguish.. "Damn Snape" he cursed softly. Hermione and Ron had gone pale and there were tears gathering in Hermione's eyes. "I need to get out of here" she muttered as she attempted to stem the tears and avoid the curious stares of their housemates.

"Mione.." Harry attempted to stop his friend but was distracted by the arrival of an unfamiliar owl. It stopped in front of Harry much to his bewilderment. "Who is it from?" Ron enquired. Harry shrugged as he untied the parchment tied to it's leg. "Let's find out" he muttered as he read the elegant script.

 _Dear ,_

 _It is with great regret that I pen this missive. I believe that I have been most remiss in my capacity as a teacher with particular regard to you. I offer my deepest apologies as I stand corrected in my misinterpretation and unwarranted assumptions about you. I was wrong in making incorrect assumptions and I sincerely wish that there is some way that amends can be made. For what it is worth I would like you to know that it was never my wish for you to leave Hogwarts and I am ashamed that my actions have led you to believe that you are unwelcome at Hogwarts._

 _I have no power or the authority to prevent you from taking the step but I would like to place before you an offer. While I cannot promise a total turnaround I do accept that I have been unduly harsh and unfair in my dealings with the students. I thank you for bringing it to my awareness and I would like you to know that my future dealings would not be the same. Should you choose to stay I can assure you that I will be a fair and decent instructor in the days to come._

 _I sincerely hope that my words will have some favor and if not, I would like you to know that my assistance will be available at all times to you. I wish you luck and success in your life and hope that you will forgive me at some point if not now._

 _Regards,_

 _Severus Snape._

 _P.S: There really was no prince…only an elf. I am sorry for that as well._

"Holy shit! I don't think he has said this much to anyone at anytime regarding anything ever" Ron exclaimed. Hermione looked at him in mock annoyance as he said " _what?_ All that he has ever said was detention ….50 points for breathing blah blah. I mean look at the language …can't he just speak plain English the git! 'pen this missive' indeed" Ron snorted. "But I can't say that I understand the last part. What is all that about mate?" Ron asked puzzled.

Harry looked up discomfited and caught Hermione's shrewd gaze. "It's to do with the Dursleys right?" she asked. Harry sighed resigned...Well if Snape could know, his friends definitely deserved to know the truth. The entire truth and not just hints. He got up from the seat and gestured to the entrance "not here guys…I will tell you at a more private place" he said not looking at the staff table.

He was not sure what he felt reading the letter from Snape. Perhaps if it had come earlier and without needing such extreme inputs from him and Dumbledore maybe he would have appreciated the gesture. Right now he just felt empty and Snape's gesture had come too late. It had come at the expense of his emotions and at the expense of all that he held dear. No, he could not forgive Snape now and perhaps not ever but that was not a road he wanted to travel just then.

He pulled Ron and Hermione into an empty classroom and cast muffiliato. He then explained about the Dursleys and the life he had at Privet Drive. He was not surprised to see that both of his friends were angry on his behalf and given a choice, Ron would just go and hex the Dursleys to his heart's content. Hermione was no less. She was furious at the muggles for treating Harry the way they had and her mind was already thinking of innovative ways of getting revenge. She in fact seemed to be sad and angry at equal parts as her tear filled eyes also radiated anger and a promise of revenge.

"Listen both of you, I know that you are angry and I appreciate it but I do not want you getting into trouble. I am anyway going to be away from everything and I am alright with it. It's just a matter of one or two summers more and then I will be free. So please guys….just let it go" Harry said addressing his friends.

Ron looked reluctant to let it go and he was already a dangerous shade of red but he nodded as Harry spoke again "Promise me that both of you will never go to the Dursley's" he demanded. "Tell me Ron…tell me Mione" he implored and both of them nodded reluctantly "Because it matters to you mate" Ron conceded.

"So, what next?" Hermione asked with a teary voice. She already hated this day. "I am going to collect the certificate from Dumbledore and send it to Durmstrang and then wait for the instructions from Durmstrang" he said quietly trying to ignore the heaviness in his heart. It had been days of just talking and discussing about it and everything had seemed far away. But suddenly everything was speeding up and the time now seemed too short.

"You know what? I think I might even be looking forward to seeing Malfoy there…it will be someone from home" Harry commented trying to break the uncomfortable silence. Ron snorted at the thought and a giggle escaped Hermione and the tenseness of the moment passed "yes imagine that" she said.

"So are you coming to transfiguration with us now? We are running late you know" Hermione reminded and both the boys gathered themselves before following her out of the secluded classroom.

When the classes were done and they headed to the Great Hall for supper they were once again accosted by two owls. One of the owls carried the no objection letter from Dumbledore stating that even though he was letting go of a very valuable student held in high esteem it was necessary and that he had no objection with the arrangement. He also hoped that all was well with his friend and counterpart and said that he wished that he would have a fruitful association with Harry as he himself did.

Harry was touched at the kind words and quickly looked at the staff table to acknowledge the old wizard and felt a rush of sadness that he would not see the man often in the coming days.

The second mail was from Draco Malfoy asking if he intended to go through with his end of the bargain. This, he acknowledged by dipping his head in a small nod while "accidentally" looking at the Slytherin table. The Slytherin however had no expression to even indicate that he had caught the nod but Harry knew that the sly Slytherin would have. Slytherins were good with these sort of things…he would know wouldn't he? He mused with a small smile.

 **Author notes** : this seemed to be a good place to stop. Sorry for the delay this time as I took time to update my other fanfiction which is a Dramione. It is called From the abyss and If you have the time do look it up! Thanks as ever for the continued support and hope to hear from you at the other end. Do read and review!


	11. Chapter 11 the first farewell

**Chapter 11** **The first farewell**

 **Legal disclaimer** : None of the characters belong to me but the story does!

The next morning Harry wasted no time in writing his own reply to Durmstrang in addition to the no objection letter from Dumbledore. He decided that he would set things in motion after breakfast and sought out Hedwig after a quick breakfast. Quickly he affixed the letters to her leg and watched the majestic bird go with a conflicted mind.

In the aftermath of the disastrous occlumency lesson, it had seemed a good idea to seek out a different school. But after the last few days in relative peace there were moments where he wondered if his reaction had been extreme. _Perhaps_ he could take up the offer of a private tutor… _perhaps he should stay after all_ … _perhaps_ …he shook his head and stopped his train of thought in anger. There were too many 'perhaps' and for all he knew Snape would revert back to his earlier self as soon as he decided to stay. His luck was 'amazing' that way he thought sarcastically, as he made his way to his classes.

He shared his morning classes with his friends in a morose mood. He once again went to the chamber of secrets in a bid to distract himself and remained distracted when an owl accosted him at lunch in the Great Hall. By this time however, he had gained a lot of curious stares from the Gryffindor table and he tried to be 'casual' as he removed the parchment from the bird. He spied the familiar handwriting of the headmaster and he saw that it was once again a request to meet him soon after lunch.

"Hey Harry…what's with all the owls? What's happening?" Seamus and Dean asked him aloud as the rest of the table looked at him curiously. Harry just shrugged and gave a tentative smile as he cast about for an idea as to how to answer the question and he was thankful when Ron nudged him and saved the situation. "Come on Harry. You got to go" he urged. Harry took the opportunity to smile apologetically at his table mates and quickly made his way out of the hall.

"Why does the headmaster want to meet you?" Hermione asked as soon as they were in the corridor. Harry shrugged "no idea" and added "Will let you know once I know. See you soon" he waved and made his way to the headmaster's office.

"Come in Harry…sit down" Dumbledore beckoned. Harry did so and waited for Dumbledore to speak. "I am sure you must be wondering as to the reason you are here". Harry nodded and Dumbledore continued "Since you have already garnered a lot of curiosity I was wondering if it would be a better idea to let your friends know. Assuming that you have not changed your mind, and have sent the necessary correspondence to Durmstrang perhaps you would want to announce your decision at dinner?" he inquired sadly, his eyes devoid of the twinkle that defined him.

Harry sat up straight startled. He had not thought of this at all! He did not think that he would be needed to formally tell everyone and say his goodbyes. Somehow it always seemed that he would just slink away without any fuss. But it was not going to be so. The prospect made him nervous but at the same time these were people he had lived with for five years. Yes there were times they had turned on him but at the ministry and other times they had stood by him as well.

He owed them an explanation especially the DA. 'Yes it is necessary' he acknowledged in his mind. Slowly he looked up at the headmaster "You are right Sir..I should tell them but isn't this too early? Should I not wait for the official acceptance from Durmstrang?" he asked.

"The doyen has already indicated that they would welcome you my boy. Once the official arrives you might find yourself rushed for time. You have to be ready for the official from Durmstrang when he comes and you might want to settle everything before then" Dumbledore advised. Harry nodded at the wisdom of the words. Dumbledore was right. "Alright then Sir, I will tell the school tonight" he said feeling suddenly like a nervous eleven year old.

"Good that's settled then. If there's anything that you need further do not hesitate to ask my boy" Dumbledore said as Harry took his leave and exited the office. Harry made his way and met his friends who were on their way from one class to another. He joined them and quickly gave a rundown of the conversation he had with Dumbledore.

"Harry, am I the only one feeling that the countdown has started?" Hermione asked her voice low and subdued. Harry felt equally subdued as he nodded dumbly. "It has Mione" he confirmed and was rewarded by the trademark Hermione hug as she held him tightly. "You know what, I am going to miss the Hermione hug" he said in a teasing tone as Hermione disengaged herself and playfully shoved him with a smile.

The tenseness of the situation was however reduced as they got to the rest of their classes. Harry could not deny that they were indeed getting a lot of curious looks and it was becoming harder to keep the questions at bay. It was made obvious when Neville approached Harry and said "Harry can I talk to you?"

Contrary to popular belief, Harry knew that Neville was in fact a very strong person and extremely loyal to his friends. Neville had always stood behind Harry even at those times when Ron had deserted him and Harry knew that he deserved to know the truth. He broke away from his friends and walked with Neville.

"Harry, what's going on? You three are so secretive and we see so many owls come and go. If there's something going down I want to help" Neville said simply. Harry was touched at the words and he felt a rush of affection for the boy standing in front of him.

"It's not like that Neville; it's not anything to do with Voldemort. I am changing school that's all" Harry said unable to cushion the words in any way. " _What?Why_? What happened? You can't go just like that mate!" Neville burst out, his words going an octave higher.

Harry shrugged "It's too late Neville…I have already made arrangements" he said calmly. Neville shook his head agitated " _No Harry no_ …we are here for you. If there's any problem we will help you…we can solve it mate, we can deal with it" he cried out.

"I am sorry Neville" Harry said feeling rather sad himself as Neville took the time to digest the news. Slowly he looked at Harry and asked the inevitable question "so where are you moving to?" he asked his voice low and barely heard.

"Durmstrang" Harry replied and waited for the outburst. But it never came. Harry was prepared for the outrage and the denial but in the absence of it he stood surprised. "You don't disapprove?" he asked in a hesitant tone. Neville shook his head and nodded almost to himself.

"I may not seem like it most times but _I am_ a pureblood, Harry. Almost all pureblood families have some exposure to the Dark arts. I think it is important to know that too, especially _you_ Harry because you are the one who is going to be facing it the most. Here, you don't get to know what it is…only how to defend against it. So it might be good for you mate" he smiled "so yeah…I don't disapprove" he said.

Harry let out the breath that he had not realized that he had been holding and smiled widely. "Thanks Neville…I did not expect that" he said. It was true he thought…he had underestimated Neville and he felt a flash of anger as he realized that most people did _especially Snape_. This was a Neville that he would never guess at. Neville had understood intuitively and probably even had an idea about why he was leaving Harry thought ruefully.

"I am not saying that I will not miss you Harry…I will…hell all of us will and I am not saying that I approve either mind you, but I trust your instincts. What I don't understand is _why now_? What happened to bring it on now?" he asked in a puzzled tone.

"Sorry Neville, I don't want to say anything on that …can we let it go please?" Harry said in response. "Is it anything to do with Snape?" Neville asked and Harry looked up startled "why would you think that?" he asked alarmed.

"Because in case you haven't noticed …you have stopped going to potions class" Neville teased with a smile. Harry went red and smiled defeated "It could be but I am not saying what" he said.

"God knows everyone would understand if you have had enough…truly we have many times wondered how you managed in that man's class. But I want you to know that I am in your corner and I will help in any way I can" Neville reiterated and Harry felt the warm rush of affection run through him again.

"So are you going to let everyone know?" he asked. Harry became serious "Yes Dumbledore suggested that I let everyone know at dinner". "I won't keep you then…just remember whatever happens we are there" Neville said moving in for an uncharacteristic hug.

"Now you have made everyone even more curiouser" Harry remarked. Neville laughed "there is no word as _curiouser_ you prat" he said as they made their way back to Ron and Hermione.

"Who has made who curiouser?" Ron enquired .. as Harry and Neville looked at each other and started laughing. Hermione joined in as she said "there is no such word like that Ron. Anyways we better get to our class. We don't want to land in detention do we" she urged.

Dinner came too soon and Harry found himself becoming nervous at the prospect of talking to the hall at large. He knew that even the Professors were not privy to the information and he wondered how they would react. He had not planned anything in his mind and hoped that he would not lose his nerves when the time came. He seated himself with butterflies in his stomach and he was rather sure that he did not know what he was consuming.

His heart skipped a beat as he saw Dumbledore rise to his feet. This was it. "Good evening. On this fine day I have a rather sad announcement to make. One of our students has decided to leave our institution and would like to say his farewell to you." He paused as he waited for the curious whispers of " _what? Who_?" to subside as he looked at the Gryffindor table and spread out his hand "come " he beckoned.

The hall burst out in utter chaos as cries of " _what?"_ _Harry Potter?Harry?_ and then there were whispers of _"I bet it's because of Snape","it must be something to do with you –know –who"_ and then more virulent whispers of _"but he is the chosen one…how can he leave us and go"?_

However as Harry went up to the staff table the hall became very silent. Even the Slytherin table fell silent. Harry looked at everyone "Hello everyone. You have all heard Professor Dumbledore and yes, I will be going to a different school due to personal reasons. I have lived here as one of you the last few years and I thank you for accepting me among you. I have made some very beautiful friendships that have withstood a lot of pressure and danger in these years and I look upon it now. I thank my friends for standing by me in those dangerous times sometimes even in the face of death. If not for such friends in my life, I doubt that I would even be standing before you now and I am grateful for that. I thank the staff and each one of you for the love and affection that you showed me in spite of Rita Skeeter's best efforts"…mild laughter sounded in the hall and became silent again as he held up a hand. "And I hope that the same affection will be given to me when I come back. Yes I do see myself coming back, even if I don't want to and all of you know what that means" he said as everyone again laughed.

"So where are you going Harry?" a voice sounded and Harry saw that it was Dean Thomas from the Gryffindor table. "I am going to Durmstrang" he replied and suddenly a hush descended on the Great Hall.

"But it's a dark school…how can you go there?" Dean questioned and then there was pandemonium as the question became repeated by various classmates including Seamus and Ernie McMillan and others until finally someone from the Slytherin table got up and said "He's going there _because_ it's dark…you dolts". This led to further pandemonium and exchange of insults until Dumbledore held up his wand and called out "Alright that's enough. Please resume your seats. Harry do you have anything to add?" he asked turning to Harry.

Harry nodded and continued "Yes sir I would just like to add one thing. I don't believe that any school can be classified as light or dark. It is how we use the knowledge and I assure you that I have enough confidence in myself not to become the next Dark Lord" he said with a smile and turned to the Professors who were looking equally gobsmacked.

"Potter this is indeed a shock. Are you sure about this?" Minerva McGonagall asked as she pulled aside Harry. He nodded and he was immediately surrounded by the other professors who wanted to know why he had taken such a radical decision and if they could help him somehow.

Harry kindly thanked them for the offer and refrained from giving any reason for his decision. He however noticed the nasty look that McGonagall gave Snape and rapidly made an exit before it became uncomfortable.

The whispers continued as Harry went back to his seat where he was besieged by the sixth years who were still struggling with the news.

Everyone wanted to know why he was going and many of them openly asked him to reconsider. It was quite some time before he managed to extricate himself from the group and made his way to the tower where he knew the questions would continue. "Well that went well" Hermione commented drily and all that Harry could think of to say was "did it?".

 **Author note** : I thank all of you for the immense support you have given this story. One of the readers wanted to know if this would be a severitus…the idea crossed my mind too but no I don't see it happening in this story. One of the other readers who had suggested an improvement to Snape's letter…yes it's a good suggestion and I will try to edit it in. As ever I persist in my request for reviews…see the above examples are how useful they are to a writer! So please do read and review.

Yeah! One more small thing is that sometimes the names are getting edited out in the fanfiction version….but it's all there in my document on the site! Looks like technology can beat the writer after all. Still I will work on correcting the errors and in the meantime please pardon my mistakes like these.


	12. Chapter 12 Durmstrang beckons

**Chapter 12 Durmstrang beckons**

 **Legal disclaimer** : I simply own the plot and not the characters.

Harry found himself facing yet another unfamiliar owl at breakfast and this time everyone just looked at him expectantly. He swiftly rid the bird of the parchment and gave the bird some treats. The bird hooted softly and taking a few bites flew away without waiting for a reply.

"Read it aloud Harry" Ron requested seeing the looks on the other's faces. Harry looked at the others and opened the parchment and his heart started beating a nervous tattoo at the words.

" _Dear_ " he started reading aloud… " _We received your documents and find it in accordance with our expectations. Please be ready to receive our staff, one Professor Mark Hodges in two days time. He will guide you to our Institute where we await your arrival._

 _Warm regards_

 _Ivan Vassily_

 _Doyen_

 _Durmstrang Institute of wizardry._

"Two days? two days?" Hermione burst out in shock. "That's just too soon" she said as Harry sat down numb. Her words were not really registering as his mind just echoed the words "two days…two days". The table had fallen silent and some of his friends had started tearing up a bit. He realized belatedly that moisture had gathered in his eyes too even without his realization, and he struggled to achieve some kind of calm as he surreptiously wiped his eyes.

Ron cleared his throat and Harry roused himself from his temporary stupor. He shook himself and said out aloud "two days Mione…a lot to be done now. I want to meet your folks Ron and Remus before I leave…I need to pack" his nervous rambling was halted as Hermione lightly laid a hand on his forearm bringing him back to awareness. "It's alright is going to be okay" she said. Harry took a deep breath and felt himself calming down under her touch. Yes everything will be alright he told himself. He was over reacting and being silly.

Everyone went to different places in their lives….he was making too much of it but then most everyone was not an orphan who went alone to escape from a situation his mind supplied drily. He shook his head to clear the thoughts, no; it would not do to become confused.

For the time first time he had taken a decision for himself and he ought to feel good about it he told himself firmly. But not for the first time he could not deny that he yearned for an adult…someone who cared for him mind you …to make the decisions that would be good for him. But then again he was not like everyone else _was he_ …he was Harry bloody Potter with a prophecy hanging over his head and he just had to live with it.

His thoughts were however interrupted when Hermione said "are you going to do classes today Harry?".Harry thought for a minute and made a decision "no, I think I will ask professor Dumbledore if I can go to the burrow today" he said. Hermione looked at him with a look that said the wheels in her head were whirring "Harry why don't you ask Professor if the Weasleys can assemble in Grimmauld place. You can meet Remus and them in one shot" she suggested.

Harry had to admit that it was a better idea indeed and nodded. "Yes good idea. Let me go ask him now" he said getting to his feet. "Aren't you guys going to class?" he asked looking at his friends who were still seated. Ron and Hermione exchanged looks. "Actually we would like to tag along. We want to spend time with you" Ron said as Hermione nodded too. Harry looked at them startled "But Hermione your classes…" he said and was interrupted when Hermione butted in with "are not more important than you Harry. When will you understand?". Harry looked at Ron who nodded "Thanks guys" he said and made his way to talk to Professor Dumbledore.

He was back within a minute grinning broadly "In half an hour" he declared "we use the floo from the headmaster's office". Half an hour later they found themselves in the drawing room of Grimmauld place in the face of a bunch of shocked Weasleys and an even grimmer Lupin.

"I guess you all know why you are here" Harry said tentatively and was rewarded by Molly Weasley who rushed forward and gathered him in a crushing hug. For the first time in forever he felt the tenseness leave his body as he melted into the warm embrace of a caring adult. He would have stood like this forever, relishing the warm embrace with silent tears marring his vision if not for her voice breaking in asking the dreaded question.

"Why Harry? Why did you do this? You could have come to us with anything and we would have been there. You are as good as a son to us…you are as much of a Weasley as Ron is you know" she said softly and Harry felt his throat clog up at the words. He wiped his eyes on her dress pretty much uncaring of what it looked like…like any child would do rather and looked up reluctantly.

"It seemed the right thing to do " he said trying to clear the hoarseness from his throat. There was an uncomfortable silence then and Lupin stepped forward "Harry I am sorry for what must have pushed you to take this step. I wish it were not so and I can see that you are not going to tell us why you are doing this. But I want you to know that no one would think less of you if you decide to stay at Hogwarts."

"I know Remus…I really do, but I don't want to talk about that. All I want to say is thank you..all of you" he said looking around the room "for everything you have done for me" he said simply. "Oh cub! Don't make it sound like you are never going to see us again. This is only a sabbatical and before you know it you will be back here for the holidays" Remus said as he moved forward for a one armed hug. "He is right, you are welcome home anytime" Arthur Weasley reaffirmed as he clasped Harry's hand in a handshake.

"Folks ….this is not a farewell _farewell_ ok? So everyone can we let up on the glum faces?" Ron quipped as everyone smiled albeit a little sadly. Fred and George who had been unusually quiet so far chipped in "For once our Ronniekins…" Fred started and as usual "is correct" George finished as Fred once again took up "perhaps we can start a branch at Durmstrang" with a mischievous grin. The grin spread to his twin who said "Now that's a wonderful idea brother mine" and added "guess we have to add new products…" as Fred added "and probably language translators and…" before Ron broke in with a groan.

"Now we will never hear the end of it…Harry you are going to regret going to Durmstrang for the crime of giving these two new ideas if not anything else. Besides Harry, why don't you ask Kreacher to give us something to eat?" he added as Hermione hit him with an elbow and a glare "Ron you just ate!" in an exasperated tone.

However the interlude had dissipated the tension as everyone adjourned to the dining area for a spot of tea and biscuits. Light chatter spattered the rest of the meeting before Arthur Weasley got up to shake hands with Harry and Molly Weasley once again engulfed Harry in a hug and they left Grimmauld Place along with the twins. Remus had followed close behind with promises to keep in touch and he also departed leaving the trio in silence as they sank onto the sofa.

"So what next?" Ron asked in the now too-silent room. Harry glanced at his friends "I want to go back to Hogwarts and get my stuff in order. And what were Fred and George talking about going on about language translators and stuff?" he asked a bit he and Ron turned to Hermione for enlightenment.

"Well in all the excitement I forgot…Durmstrang might operate in the local language which might not be English" she said with an apologetic expression. "What?" Harry burst out "and you are telling me _now_?" he asked rising to his feet agitated. "What am I going to do?" he asked in despair.

Hermione laid a hand on his arm and rubbed small circles as she said "Harry relax…you will not be the only overseas student there. There are bound to be other students who don't speak the local language. And in the case that there aren't any, there is a translation spell that you can use. It will translate what others speak to English and in turn your speech to the local language. So don't worry…You will be alright..you are the "boy-who-lived-after all" she said teasing him and laughing at the glare that she received in turn."Besides" she added "didn't you notice the name of the Professor coming to pick you up? It was an English name" she said bringing a ray of hope back into Harry's eyes.

Harry's expression however remained serious as he turned to Hermione "Yes you are right. In any case can you find out the spell for me …please?".Hermione nodded enthusiastically "that is what I will do when you are packing. I will be ready with it by dinner. Ron will you help me look it up in the library?" she asked.

"Mione this is the _library_ you are talking about…are you sure that I can help with that?" he asked dubiously as Hermione hit him with a laugh. "Ron it's just the library and it's not going to bite you, besides you have to see it sometime' she joked. "Come on guys…let's get back." She urged "In fact if Professor Dumbledore is in his office maybe we can ask him as well" she said getting to her feet and pulling on Ron's arm to get him to his feet as well.

"Fine" Harry acquiesced as he got to his feet. Soon they found themselves in Dumbledore's office which was empty. "Well there goes our chance at asking Dumbledore" Ron sighed. "Come on let's go to the library then" Hermione urged. Ron gave a helpless look at Harry and tagged behind Hermione as Harry made his way to Gryffindor tower.

Harry gathered his clothes not that he had much of it and folded it in neatly into his trunk. Next came the invisibility cloak and as he took it in his hands he was besieged by memories of all the times that he and Hermione and Ron had wandered the corridors under the cloak. The time that they had terrorized Draco Malfoy at Hogsmeade…the memories were numerous and they played out like a movie as Harry stood lost in the memories with a smile on his lips.

And that is exactly why he was startled out of his wits when he heard someone say "that cloak is nothing but trouble". Harry looked up in shock as the cloak slipped out of his fingers "You? What are you doing here?" he asked indignantly.

 **Author notes** : well that seemed a good place to stop. Many thanks for the interesting reviews that I have been receiving. Every review has made me learn something new and I am enjoying the learning process as well. To the 72 year old reviewer who shared his thoughts, thank you…they were beautiful pearls of wisdom. To the guest reviewer who brought up the query on the language issues in Durmstrang…you are right and here is my explanation. This is a story where I meant to focus more on Harry taking a stand rather than where he goes and what he does further. Having said that, I do admit that it was a foresight and I should have anticipated that it would give rise to questions. Thank you for pointing out that angle. I might explore it if I decide to do a sequel.

At this point I anticipate another three or four chapters to the story and I have to confess that it is much more than the original one shot that it was meant to be (blink blink!).And as ever I am thankful to all the readers who have not speared me and given me encouraging words instead and it's been a wonderful feeling to see the follows and the reviews. So here's to happy reading and hopefully happy reviewing!


	13. Chapter 13 confrontation and ire

**Chapter 13 confrontation and ire**

 **Disclaimer** : None of the characters belong to me!

"I repeat, what are _you_ doing here …. _Sir_?"Harry said adding the sir reluctantly. "Have you come to reclaim your punching bag? I am sorry to say that I am quite not in the mood to accommodate you.. _Sir_ " Harry said, anger lacing his words as he looked at the potions master expecting to see the familiar sneer on the man's face. The potions master however, had no sneer on his face but instead had a calm blank look which did nothing to quell the anger that Harry felt. His life which was already complicated had become even more so, thanks to this man. No, he had nothing to say to this man now or ever.

"Under the circumstances, in all good conscience, it seemed advisable to talk to you at least once" the potions master stumbled looking extremely discomfited. The black of his clothes clashed horribly in the red and gold room and Harry felt nothing for the man at that point except contempt.

"In all ' _good conscience'_? Does that even apply to you…when in relation to _me_ especially? I am sorry Professor, I think you have got the wrong common room and my name is not Malfoy" Harry said, his voice coming out harsh and with a little disdain. Perhaps a bit too harsh, he conceded when he saw the dour man wince as the words bit into him, but he could not help it. Years and years of being at the receiving end of the man's ire was now pouring out. He had nothing to lose now anyway.

"I am sorry you feel that way, if it makes any difference.." the man started but Harry cut him off. "It's alright Professor…you don't need to, especially if Dumbledore had _made_ you _….apologize_ that is" he said tiredly before saying "You know what Professor? If you had been the way you were because of something that _I_ had done..I would not even hold it against you. I would _even_ have appreciated and respected you for it but to be discriminated for something that someone else did….that was _unacceptable_. I did not even _know_ my father and what you wanted was for _me_ to think less of him. That is so low that I cannot even believe it." All of his pent up emotions were exploding and the words that had played on his mind countless times now came to his lips. There was no stopping the dam that had burst. God knows he had tried so hard to make a graceful exit and here was Snape making him erupt all over again.

"I am not saying that what my father did to you was right" the words fell past his lips as the emotion rose in him. The rage and despair he had felt at the hands of the potions master was now in full torrent "in fact" he continued "it was a very wrong thing that he did but that was not the sum total of what he was and _you_ know it. _Everyone_ has faults Professor…even James Potter and I would say that he paid for it. And Sirius paid for it more….he lost his life to Azkaban and now he is not even alive but that is not enough for you, right?" he spat his eyes flashing angrily.

"Potter… _Harry_ " Snape started to speak but Harry had not finished his rant. He held up a hand as he raised his eyebrow in mock disdain " _Oh! I am 'Harry' now am I_?" before saying "you know what _Professor_?" stressing on the word and his eyes were orbs of sparking emerald fire "what I cannot _truly_ forgive …not that the occlumency lessons failed….but if you had taught me properly I would not have lost Sirius and _that_ is something that I can never forgive you for" he said sadly before his eyes hardened again and he continued speaking.

"One last thing Professor…I dare say if the circumstances were different and it was _your_ son that had been taught by my father, I am sure that he would have been treated better than what I have been subjected to and that makes my father a slightly better man in my books. Now Professor unless you have something else to say I have a lot to get to" he said turning away from the potions master.

"You are right of course and as seeing that my apology has come too late and as seeing that your mind has been quite made up, would it be futile to ask if there's a chance of reconsidering your decision? If your mother was here she would have killed me by now" Snape said uncomfortably conceding the truth in Harry's words. Apologies did not come easy to Severus Snape and the words came out slow and reluctant. Harry however stilled on hearing the words. "How well did you know my mother anyway?" he demanded.

"We were good friends once and she would be very distressed with your departure. Would continuing in Hogwarts sound more feasible if I resign _and_ what about your connection with the Dark Lord? What If he attacks your mind again?" Snape asked bluntly.

"Your concern is touching Professor" Harry said scathingly "but unfortunately it looks like your hatred for my father far outstripped your friendship with my mother. And _no_ professor… _I_ won't chase anyone out of Hogwarts so whether you want to resign or stay is not for me to say. To answer your question, it's not that I did any better when I did have occlumency lessons" he said pointedly

"So I will just take my chances…besides I have come too far to turn back so please let it go and leave" Harry replied equally bluntly and they stood face to face in a kind of twisted face off. However the moment passed and Snape visibly deflated, in defeat.

He rubbed the bridge of his nose as he asked in a defeated tone "what if the students follow you out of Hogwarts? You might be setting a trend". Harry looked at him sharply and let out a bitter laugh "You give me far too much credit Professor…according to you 'I am nothing special' remember? And contrary to popular belief I don't hold that kind of power over others. Besides all of them have elders who will make the decision for them and _they_ will not take the boy-who-lived crap so seriously".

"No Potter you are mistaken, to many you are still an ideal, adults included and you underestimate your influence, no matter what my views are" he said sighing. "However one last thing.. I would like to also know what is going on with you and Draco Malfoy?" Snape asked suddenly changing track.

"Why are you asking _me_ Professor?" Harry retorted "Draco Malfoy is in _your_ house…he is _your favorite_ student…I am sure he will be happy to tell you all his secrets" Harry snapped now eager to get rid of the man and his conversation. It was stirring up the feelings that he had shoved down and he had no desire to let the man tempt him into staying back.

"So if you are done Professor…." He looked meaningfully and felt a twinge of regret at the defeated look on the potions professor's face. For once, the man who exuded power and stood majestic looked defeated and lost and he softened a bit and he relented. "Professor there is one thing you can do though" he said softly.

Snape looked at him expectantly and Harry said "Please change your tactics or no Gryffindor will find their way to your class especially the senior students. I think they are a little fed up of being singled out too…so please don't give them a reason to follow my route. Sir, fear and respect are two different things entirely" his voice coming out soft but firm.

"Yes it has been made abundantly clear thank you" Snape said equally softly and for once without rancor "I wish you luck and success and I am sorry that your decision had to be made as a result of my actions. However I once again would like to let you know that any assistance from me will be freely given". Harry nodded to show that he understood as Snape swished his way out of the room.

Harry let out a whoosh of breath and sank down on the bed. He did not need Snape to talk to him and make him all insecure. He shook his head to clear out his thoughts. It was incredibly tempting to just throw everything out the window and resume his life here at Hogwarts but at the same time he knew that nothing would be the same. Everything would be tainted…damn Snape! He had already moved away from Hogwarts in his mind and even made an announcement and if he were to stay it would all seem like a stupid drama. Damn Snape! He cursed again and wiped away the moisture in his eyes.

He looked around the room and ran a hand over the red bed sheet…the first real bed he had ever known…and the curtains. Nostalgia overwhelmed him as he looked at Ron's bed and thought of all the late night talks that he had had lying down on these very beds. This dormitory had been his home for the last five years and he felt waves of homesickness at the thought of leaving this. He wondered how he would fare at Durmstrang away from all of his friends and felt heaviness in his chest that he did not want to acknowledge.

Swiping away his tears angrily he resumed his task of checking that all his possessions were in order as he waited for Ron and Hermione to join him. There was no use in getting homesick already.

It was not often that Severus Snape felt defeated but this was one of those times. How much ever he tried he could not shake off the guilt that gnawed at him. Although Potter had not mentioned anything to others he had not corrected him when he had said that his actions had caused Potter to leave. It left a bitter taste in his mouth and yet he deserved every ounce of guilt and regret.

Damn the brat! He cursed…he had not even given him a chance. But then would _he_ have given a chance had the roles been reversed? His mind put in snidely. No, he would not have…hell he hadn't even now and it was this that had created the whole mess. But then he was not Potter was he?

He had seen the boy forgive that Weasley brat when he turned on him during the blasted tournament that should never have been conducted. He had seen the boy forgive the mutt when he was never there and should have been….but he had not forgiven him, Severus Snape who had saved his life so many times. It was not fair!

But then, none of them had been cruel to the boy as he had been. And he _had_ been cruel, there was no denying it. He had lied to himself over the years saying that he was harsh to keep the boy safe but that was not really it. Deep down he had known it but even then he had been too ashamed to acknowledge it.

He had wanted so desperately to take down Potter that he had not stopped to think about which Potter he was against. He had destroyed a boy to take revenge against someone who had been dead for sixteen years. Looking at it in that light, Severus felt sickened and he felt the bile rise in his throat. Potter was right ….he had not thought about Lily enough, he had been consumed with his need to destroy James Potter's son and think about how the elder Potter would roll in his grave.

And as much as he had wanted to deny it, Potter had been right. James Potter _would_ have treated his son well had the roles been reversed and that did not speak well for Severus Snape indeed. Gryffindors had that innate sense of honor he knew, and James Potter had beaten him even in death.

However there was nothing he could do now except have a talk with his Godson one Draco Malfoy. He could not even fathom what was brewing with that boy and after the debacle with Potter all he wanted was peace, not more war and as much as he would have liked to let sleeping dogs lie this particular dog could not be allowed to lie down.

Making up his mind he made his way to the potions classroom where the sixth years would be assembled sans Potter. He would keep his godson after class and ask him about his dealings with Potter he decided.

 **Author notes:** Sorry for the delay! And thanks for the continued support. I did not have much time with this chapter and so do forgive any mistakes that are there….I will soon take another look and edit them. In the meantime enjoy the chapter and do let me know your thoughts and comments….constructive criticism too!


	14. Chapter 14 friends and farewells

**Chapter 14 friends and farewells**

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters.

Severus Snape looked for the chink in the armor of his Godson's visage and he found it in the clenched fists. Yes, his godson was tense but had also pulled up the 'Malfoy mask' that would fool everyone else but not him. Him who had seen Draco from the time he was born.

"Draco I am aware that something is transpiring between Potter and you. What is going on?" he asked bluntly hoping to get to the heart of the matter and fast. Draco looked up alarmed but just for a second before the mask came on. There was wariness in his eyes now but still the mask had not faltered as he drawled "what can possibly be between Potter and me sir? We have nothing but discord between us…as if I would want to have anything to do with him" he scoffed.

"Stop the charade Draco" Severus said sharply "if you tell me what is going on maybe I can help you with whatever that is you are planning". Severus could see the conflict play on his Godson's face until finally he deflated with a sigh and a drop of his shoulders.

"Sev…you know that the Dark Lord has moved into our house don't you?" Severus nodded and gestured for him to continue "I don't want to be there …I want to get away from there and from Hogwarts. The house feels more like a prison now. It is stifling" he said and looked at his godfather pleading with him to understand what he could not say. He could not say the real reason was that he did not want to be a death eater and if he stayed, he would be forced to become one.

"Dear Merlin!" Severus gasped "You are planning to go to Durmstrang aren't you?" he asked as Draco mutely nodded. "Idiot child!…why didn't you come to me?" Severus said exasperated and desperate and worried all at once.

"How could I Severus? You are a damn death eater!" Draco burst out finally, his mask broken and his eyes smoldering with rage. Severus looked at his godson seeing a breakthrough "and you don't want to be one?" he asked tentatively. He had felt Draco's reason to be a flimsy and had hoped that this would be the real reason.

"No" the shout came out very un-Malfoylike and Severus let out a sigh of relief. " _Thank Merlin_! I was so afraid you will be lost to the madman" he breathed as Draco looked at him with confusion only to be replaced with shrewd understanding a few seconds later. "So my suspicions were right …you are _really_ not a death eater are you?" he asked.

"No and it's a story for another time. Now what have you done with Potter" Severus steered the conversation back to where it belonged. Draco looked sheepish for a minute before saying "I stuck a deal with him. I give him Durmstrang's address and he gets me a no objection certificate from Dumbledore".

Severus exhaled in relief…it was not as bad as he feared. "Well played dragon….this might be for the good after all" he said as he contemplated the situation. "So I made the right decision?" Draco asked tentatively "yes it seems so…right now being inaccessible is a good move otherwise there's no escape for you. You _do_ know that right?" Severus said softly laying a hand on his godson's shoulder.

"I _hate_ the Dark Lord. He has ruined our lives" Draco breathed vehemently, moving closer and laying his head on Severus's shoulder as the potions master gently ran a hand through his hair. "Yes, that is what he does. Do be careful child. You are turning your back on the devil himself and Potter being in the same place as you makes it even more dangerous".

"But I _should_ go right?" Draco asked sounding like a child for the first time with a bit of uncertainty. "If it had been just you, perhaps I would have suggested a different school but in this case, you will have someone with you instead of being all alone. Out there, you two need each other and whatever your impression of Potter might be …make no mistake that he is a powerful wizard. If it comes to a pinch he will protect you. Leave your ego aside and start a new life there Draco" Severus said softly holding onto his godson and trying to come to terms with the fact that he had failed one more child in his care.

Draco snorted at the words of the potions master."You want me to be _friends_ with Potter?" Draco asked with a horrified expression. Now it was Snape's turn to snort "Friends no…that's too much of a stretch on imagination. Right now we will settle for no animosity _and_ civility alright?"

Draco shrugged carelessly "No Draco _I mean it_ " Severus reiterated…. "He has a sense of honor that all Gryffindors do and he will help you even if he despises you" Severus chided gently. "Now tell me about your correspondences and we will do the next steps together. Make sure that Lucius or Narcissa do not know….they do not have strong enough mental shields" he warned.

For the next several minutes they spent talking about what needed to be done before Draco headed to the next class albeit with a note from Severus.

Back in his office Severus sank onto the chair gratefully as the events of the morning played on his mind. It had been one hell of a morning and he wondered what the rest of the day would bring.

Elsewhere Harry had been joined by Ron and Hermione where Hermione had taught him the translation spell. Vastly relieved, Harry had spent the next couple of hours practicing the spell by asking Hermione to speak some French words that she knew and simultaneously filling them in on Severus Snape's visit.

They had then caught the tail end of the classes before heading to dinner. As Harry sat down at the table he was approached by Colin Creevey. "Hi Harry" he called out in his characteristic cheerful way. "Hey Colin" Harry responded turning to the younger boy. Colin held out what looked like a book in his hands to Harry "I have put together some snaps of all of us here. I thought you would like to take it with you to Durmstrang" he said shyly.

Harry took the offered book, he was deeply touched and his heart thumped faster as he felt his imminent departure even more acutely. This made it all the more real and he felt faintly alarmed at the thought. However he managed to croak out a "thank you Colin, I really appreciate it" to the younger boy. Colin smiled broadly and went back to his seat calling out a "see you later Harry".

"Open it Harry" Ron urged as Harry obliged. There were random snaps from the last few years featuring Harry with all the Gryffindors at different moments. There was him with the snitch in his hand surrounded by the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and shots of him in the common room flanked by his friends.

There was even one where he stood talking to Dobby outside the kitchens and Harry wondered when Colin managed to get that one! The really funny one, funny in hindsight that is, was of Lockhart casting the spell on his broken arm in second year.

"The expression on your face is priceless mate" Ron guffawed as they shared laughter over the snaps. By this time, many of the others had peered over their shoulder and soon everyone had their own reminisces to add. So many memories and Harry felt a pang of sadness at the thought of not having this camaraderie in the coming year.

Once they were back in the Gryffindor common room, he was approached by Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil. Harry was bewildered as he had never been approached by these two girls before and he wondered if he was in any trouble.

"Harry hi…we are sorry that you have to leave. We will miss you and we want you to have something to remember us by. This is from all the girls in the year" Parvati said holding out a soft package.

Harry looked up startled. He had not expected this and felt overwhelmed by the gesture and the affection. After so many years of being told that he was a freak and worthless, he felt torn and confused. They can't mean this, can they? But then they did not have to get anything for him in the first place he argued mentally until he was nudged by Hermione and brought back from his internal musing. He realized that they were waiting for his reaction and he smiled. "Thank you. You dint have to" he mumbled shyly.

"We didn't have to but we wanted to Harry…now go on and open it. We hope you like it" Lavender urged. Harry shared a look with Hermione and Ron and opened the parcel to find a soft black velvet robe with silver trimmings.

His voice caught in his throat as he was overcome with emotion. He looked up with a grateful expression to meet the smiling faces of his friends. The robe was made of the finest material and he knew that it must have been expensive. He felt humbled that his friends had spent so much money on him.

"It's beautiful" he gasped as Lavender quipped "well we could not let you looking shabby at Durmstrang can we? You carry forward Hogwarts now. Let them know how handsome our boys are" she said teasingly with a wink.

Harry laughed with the others "well thanks…it's beautiful" he repeated and was saved from further emotion as Ron butted in with "well if I leave too will you guys get a robe like this for me?" with an eager expression on his face.

Hermione playfully hit him as the common room once again became engulfed in laughter. After a few more minutes of chatting and camaraderie Hermione departed to the girl's dormitory as Harry and Ron went to their beds.

"Harry" Ron called and Harry looked up unused to the serious tone in Ron's voice. "Yeah Ron" he called. "I don't know what I am going to do without you. Perhaps I should come with you" Ron said still in his serious tone.

Harry felt horrified " _No_ Ron what are you talking about. You have a family here…people who love you. You have no reason to leave. I will never forgive myself if you do that" he said fervently.

"And _you_ …how can _you_ think that you don't have people that love you Harry?" Ron asked equally fierce. Harry fell silent. How could he explain that it was not the same? He did not have anyone to truly call his own. They loved him yes, but belonged to someone else. It was all messed up so he just fell silent.

"I am sorry Ron. It's hard for me too. I don't know what I am going to do without you two either but I will stay in touch. I will not disappear and I will try to come for the holidays. I don't know how it's all going to go and I will miss you guys horribly" he said softly.

"I hate the greasy git…damn him. I just feel like killing him" Ron swore. "Anyways I don't suppose I can dissuade you now…and I can't follow you either. What am I supposed to do?" he asked plaintively as his voice broke with emotion.

"I don't know ….I am sorry" Harry mumbled his chest feeling tight with the suppressed tears. Suddenly Ron was in front of him and hugging him as he had never held him before as he said "who will watch your back now? I can't believe I am saying this but I don't want you to get into any trouble understand? You stay safe and take good care of yourself you hear, otherwise I am coming after you. As it is, Hermione might go nuts worrying about you".

Hearing the determination in Ron's voice Harry had no doubt that he meant what he said. He fiercely hugged back thankful to have such friends in his life as he wiped the tears from his eyes and nodded "I will".

By now the others had come into the room but no one commented on either the hug or the tears. They nodded to the two friends before settling into their respective beds.

"Well I guess we should sleep too" Ron said letting go of Harry and sitting on his bed. Harry concurred and lay down on his bed too. Both of them drew their curtains each one consumed by their thoughts. They after all had only one more day to be together.

 **Author notes** : well we are almost done with the story…just a couple more chapters by my reckoning. I am undecided about a sequel right now unless I get requests for it. As ever, I am thankful for the follows, the reviews, and the favorites. I am very much humbled by the love and affection and leave with the note fanfiction rocks!


	15. Chapter 15 worlds collide

**Chapter 15 worlds collide**

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters.

The next morning Harry had felt even more emotional as the Gryffindor boys had gifted him a red and gold woolen muffler to "remember his Gryffindor side" and left him close to tears. The feeling was reinforced when Luna met him in the Great Hall and gifted him a necklace made of charmed radishes "to ward off the nargles". What was really unexpected however was the arrival of a regal eagle owl that dropped off a small soft package before Harry and flew off before anyone could even blink an eye.

Harry looked at it curiously and not finding any clue as to the sender looked at his friends with a confused expression. "Don't open it Harry…what if it's jinxed?" Ron asked as Hermione tutted "You can open it Harry…anything cursed cannot enter the Great Hall. If you both had ever bothered to open _Hogwarts a history_ you would know that" she said with an annoyed expression.

Ron and Harry looked sheepish as Harry opened the package to find a green silk scarf as expensive as they come, with a serpent slithering across the surface. There was a small card that said "see you on the other side. Until then, I hope the snake can provide company" in neat script.

The trio exchanged meaningful glances "blimey! If that's from who I think it's from, the world is coming to an end" Ron exclaimed. Hermione giggled and Harry looked across the table and locked gazes with Draco Malfoy. He acknowledged the gift with a minute nod and a small smile.

 _"_ _Geez!_ Is the git trying to suck up to you now" Ron growled under his breath. Hermione shushed him as Harry laid a hand on his arm "If this is a peace offering, I am accepting it Ron. We have fought for five years without even having a tangible reason. Besides, he might be the only touch of home out there" Harry said wistfully. "You are right Harry" Hermione comforted him as the trio finished the breakfast and got up to exit the hall.

Just as they were approaching the staff table however they were rocked on their feet by a strong gust of wind. A few of the students shrieked as the wind gained in intensity so much so that it felt like they were in a storm without the rain.

Harry shielded his face from the wind and saw his friends do the same. Some of the younger kids were being anchored by the older kids in their respective houses. And then as suddenly as it had come, the wind died down and there was absolute silence as the hall began to glow with an unearthly light.

"What the bloody hell is happening?" Ron exclaimed as Harry removed his hand wondering the exact same thing. All around them everyone was looking around trying to find out the reason for the glow. As the golden glow coalesced into human forms, Harry's jaw fell open and he felt rather than saw the gob smacked expression on Ron's face.

" _Mum and dad_?" Harry gasped as he unconsciously moved towards the ghostly forms of his parents. He ran into his mum's arms eagerly wishing that he could feel her arms solidly around him at least once in his life.

"Darling we could not let you leave without seeing you" his mum said softly, her love and warmth evident in her eyes as also worry and anger. Harry wiped away the tears in his eyes and basked in his parent's presence. "Are you mad at me for taking this decision?" he asked and was immensely relieved when his mum shook her head in the negative.

"We are mad young man, but not at you." His dad said as his mum sent a glare at the staff table. "Now go join your friends, we have some business with the staff members" he said and drew Harry into a hug before releasing him and giving him a push towards his friends.

"I want to be with you" Harry protested but his mum shook her head "sweetheart let us deal with this …please" she said firmly and yet lovingly and Harry wondered if this is what parenting was all about. Suddenly he was filled with a yearning so strong that he would have gladly given up his life to go with his parents at that moment.

"Okay... but please don't be mad at anyone" he muttered before hugging his mum and moving a step away from his parents. He was aware of the silence in the hall and the gob smacked expressions on the student's faces. However, he had no eyes for anyone except his parents and he was worried about what they were planning to do. After all, he had heard that he had inherited his temper from his fiery mother.

His heart skipped a beat as his parents moved closer to the staff table. His mother's eyes radiated rage and her hair was whipped about by the wind flowing around her. "Albus" her voice rang out clear and cold… "When we died, we died believing that our son was in good hands. But we were so wrong. No one was more disillusioned and hurt than I when I realized that he was nothing but a weapon to you…the _great_ Albus Dumbledore for whom everyone is a piece of the grand chess game that he plays" her words rang with scorn and her eyes were shards of emerald glass.

For the first time in his life Harry saw Dumbledore lower his head as he stood unable to provide answers. Harry looked around nervously to gauge the other's reactions to the drama being played out and realized that only he and the staff members along with Ron and Hermione who had moved close to him could hear what was being said. He heaved a sigh of relief thankful for the massive _muffiliato_ that had come into being with his parent's entrance.

"My dear Lily…" Dumbledore started to placate the seething ghost when her voice whipped across, cold as ice. "Save it for someone who will believe your platitudes Dumbledore. I _cannot believe_ that we believed in you…in _you_ , who could not even find it in himself to check on my son _once_ in _all_ these years. It would have taken you two minutes to see if my son was well and yet you could not find the willingness to spare _two_ minutes of your time. We _trusted_ you and we were betrayed by you. To think that we were so blind.." her voice rang out loud and filled with anger.

"I am disappointed in _you_ … _in every one of you_ " she raged, her voice dripping with equal parts anger and sadness. Dumbledore fell silent unable to defend himself from the harsh but true accusation. "I have nothing to defend myself with ….I have indeed failed and you have every right to berate me. I can only apologize and beg your forgiveness for my mistake although there is truly no forgiveness for my folly".

Lily Potter however remained unappeased and cold as she turned to Severus Snape and suddenly her rage intensified. The table trembled as her eyes shone with barely controlled rage and the air around her crackled as if with electricity.

"And _you_ …" her tone became glacial and Harry saw the color drain from the potion master's face. "You _were_ my friend…and yet you acted more like the death eater that you became. _How dare you? How dare you assume that you can abuse my son and get away with it_? _You are the sole reason that my son is leaving me and the soil where he belongs and you think that I will spare you? How could you Severus? How could you? I stood up for you and defended you more than any of the others and you do this?"_ she spat and the electricity twirled dangerously more than ever. Harry glanced around and saw the nervous tension on the other's faces as they beheld the dangerous current surrounding the fierce redheaded lady.

Harry felt a rush of pride as he acknowledged that his mum was a very powerful witch indeed. Before her rage could reach dangerous proportions however, James Potter moved forward and laid a hand on her shoulder. "let me darling" he said softly.

The air still crackled with static electricity as she reluctantly stepped back with a glare so that her husband could step forward and face Severus Snape. "Severus.." he called softly and the potions master could not resist the automatic sneer that came onto his face.

James Potter sighed "Severus you wondered if I rolled in my grave for what you were doing to my son. I want you to know that _I did_ …..the worst feeling that a father could ever have is when his son pays for his crimes. There was nothing that I could do and it killed me all over again if you must know" he said.

Hearing the words Harry could not help feel guilty. He surged forward " _No dad_ …please don't feel like that. I deserved it…I..I was not exactly a good student" he pleaded hoping to convince his father but his words were not helping to remove the resigned look on his dad's face. His mom had a sheen of tears in her eyes and motioned for him to step back. "Harry darling…it's alright. Some things need to be said and let your dad say his piece" she said.

"But Mum…" Harry started but he was interrupted when his mum said "now Harry…shush. Darling let us talk. For once, you don't have to deal with everything. Your parents are here" she said in the firm tone that only a mother could have as James spoke again.

"For what it is worth Severus…I am sorry for what we did to you. It was wrong and we should have never done any of it. There were a million times that I wanted to apologize to you but it has taken us all this time to figure out how to appear before you at our will. I cannot undo the damage that we did but I _can_ offer you this…make the _corporis forma_ potion and feel free to exact your revenge" he said.

Now it was Snape's turn to have a glazed expression and he looked discomfited by the entire situation especially in view of the fact that Lily Potter now had a trail of tears on her ghostly cheeks. He stood transfixed and unable to utter a single word knowing that he was the reason for the tears until the silence was broken by Lily herself. "Well Severus, this is your chance take it" she said with a sneer worthy of Snape himself.

Harry felt a pang of alarm at the words even though he could not understand what had transpired. His feeling was even more accentuated when he heard Hermione gasp. "What? What is this potion? What is going on?" he pleaded but before he could get an answer he heard Snape's scratchy voice.

Snape roused himself, horrified and feeling sick that he had caused the tears on Lily's face choked out "no… _no_ please that won't be necessary. And I am sorry too…I regret my behavior and accept my failure as a friend and as a teacher" he said bowing his head.

"Severus.." Lily called and the potions master looked up with a haunted expression. "I hope the friend that I once knew has not died…I implore you, let go of the bitterness and what happened all those years ago. Please...Severus live life again…learn to love. _Be_ my Severus" she said and Harry was startled to see that the potions master was the one who was controlling his tears as he choked out a "I promise".

Lily and James then turned to Harry and gathered him to them. Lily laid a hand on his cheek tenderly "Be careful. Take care of yourself and remember we are with you always" she said placing her hand on his chest right over his heart.

Harry laid his head on her shoulder as his father ruffled his hair although it came out more as a rush of air than an actual feeling. "Sirius wants you to stop blaming yourself…he is happy and wants you to be happy too. That is what we want too…okay?"he said softly before adding "our time here is limited. We have to go but remember your mother is always right…".He grinned and said "we are with you always" before stepping back from Harry.

Lily also stepped back as she smiled serenely at him and said "we love you darling. Never question that. We are proud of you and will always be". Harry felt a jolt of panic as he saw his parent's forms fade and he called out in panic "no…don't go…please don't go…no _please_ …" he chanted as his parents faded from view completely until he was left with just his tears and his friends standing by his side.

He turned and buried his face in Hermione's shoulder as she comforted him and let him spend all his tears. She looked around and noted that silence still reigned in the hall and the students had almost identical looks of wonder and shock. Some of the girls even had mild tears in reaction to Harry's own.

Looking at the Slytherin table she was shocked to find that even Draco Malfoy was looking uneasy and discomfited over what had transpired. They had never seen their head of house anything less than majestic and they had been startled to see him so vulnerable to say the least.

 **Author notes:** Thank you for the nice words, the views, follows and favorites. It's always an awesome feeling to see the word "review" in the inbox so please do read and review. The story is winding down and I hope that all of you will be there to usher in the end. Take care. Ciao!


	16. Chapter 16 endings and beginnings

**Chapter 16 endings and beginnings.**

"Wow…your parents are something else Harry" Ron exclaimed as Harry nodded sadly still ensconced within Hermione's embrace. "But why did they come now? Why not all this while?" he asked in a puzzled voice but became silent as Hermione gave him an exasperated glance.

" _what?_ " he asked again as Hermione patiently responded with a sigh "Ron didn't you hear them say that they have just now figured out how to appear at will….earlier it was due to the priori incantatem…their appearance had nothing to do with them per se" she explained in a quiet voice.

"I think it's rather nice that it worked out for them in the nick of time…they got to say their farewell to Harry" she continued as she gave a tentative look at Harry to gauge his reaction. Harry smiled wanly "It was brilliant…for a few minutes it felt normal you know….I felt like a normal kid with parents and all… but I am not destined for that kind of happiness Mione…I guess I am now back to being an orphan" he said a sheen of tears blurring his sight. "But what was that talk of some potion all about? Do you know what that is?"

Hermione looked distressed as she said "yes I do. It is a potion that gives spirits corporeal forms. As in, they assume a proper physical form for some time" she said. Harry looked at her dumbstruck "you mean as in flesh and bones? I can feel them?" he asked with a hopeful expression.

Hermione nodded "and they can also feel in turn. It's like they come alive for some time" she said unnerved by the raw feeling in Harry's eyes. "But I don't think it has ever been attempted so far. I am sorry Harry" Hermione muttered waiting for Harry to come back to himself.

Harry wiped his eyes and looked around noticing the curious looks directed at him. "It sounds very tempting you know …but hell! Come on, let's go. They have enough material for gossip now" he quipped and made his way out of the hall. For a minute he wondered if he should speak to the Headmaster and Snape but then realized that he would not know what to say, not that it was his place anyway.

Giving it up as a bad idea he spent the rest of the day going over last minute details and meeting the Weasleys and Lupin back at Grimmauld Place. Fred and George had left a huge pack of the prank products for him and had packed a whole lot of eatables that he could take with him. She had also handed over the money pouch that he had asked her to withdraw from his account along with some winter clothing that he had felt he might require at a later date, if not right away.

After more teary farewells, he made his way back to his dormitory where there was an impromptu party for his farewell. However at the end of the party, sadly enough, everyone felt a bit more weighed down rather than feeling good. It ended in a round of unexpected tears and it was with relief that Harry made his way to his bed.

But he was waylaid once again as Hermione and Ron approached him and they sat down near the fireplace as they had done on countless nights. The silence spoke volumes as each of them was somber with the feeling of loss and the anxiety of what was to come. Finally Hermione extended a small box in his direction breaking the tension.

"You don't have to give me anything Hermione" Harry protested but Ron shut him up "Harry, open it mate. It's from the both of us. You should know by now that all you would get from Hermione is a book" he quipped as Hermione shoved him playfully. But the tension had lessoned and Harry found a small smile playing on his lips.

Harry looked at them quizzically as he took the box from Hermione. He opened it to find a gold chain with a round pendant nestling in the centre. He took it out and looked at the design closely….it was a lily! "Thank you guys…it's beautiful" he whispered.

"Harry you miss the point" Hermione said with a small smile as Harry looked at her for more explanation. "It is a portkey designed to breakthrough any wards, even the ones for anti apparition. The activation word is "sanctuary". The idea was mine but the charms were done by Dumbledore and Snape. So it is very very powerful."

"Harry…we are not going to be there to watch your back and this is the second best thing that we could think of. We know that you don't exactly favor portkeys after what happened in fourth year but please wear it and be careful" she said with a plea in her eyes.

Harry was stunned at how much his friends cared for him and found himself tongue tied… _what could he say_? He could not even be angry that his friends went to Dumbledore and Snape. For Ron to have gone to Snape was a big testament to how much he cared for Harry. Silently, he engulfed his friends in a hug and carefully placed the chain around his neck.

"Incidentally….where would the portkey take me?" he asked with a note of curiosity. "To the nearest hospital" came the quick reply… "Knowing your track record it was the most obvious place" Hermione quipped with a mischievous look as Harry protested " _hey_!". Ron just rolled his eyes as the three of them shared a laugh over the slight.

However it was soon time to say goodnight and Hermione retired with a sad look as Harry and Ron went to their beds. Harry stood at the foot of his bed and looked around nostalgically. _This was it_ …his last night at Hogwarts. For one insane moment he felt like throwing everything to the winds and recalling his decision, even if he would lose everyone's respect. The next second however he realized that too much had changed for him at Hogwarts and even if he stayed it would not be the same.

"I am going to miss this" he said voicing his emotions for the first time since he had made the decision. Ron placed a hand on his shoulder offering support "I know" he said equally softly. "This has been my home Ron…and I feel like I am leaving a bit of me behind" he confessed. "Well that's what even _I_ would feel….in your case even more so" Ron said in an unusually perceptive manner. Harry looked up surprised. Perhaps his friends had changed a bit too...Harry mused.

"Well…this is it then huh?"Ron asked splaying his hands. Harry nodded quietly "yeah…this is it. Tomorrow I will be at a different place. I wonder if Hedwig can make a long trip….even otherwise I will figure out how to get in touch with you…" he muttered half to Ron and half to himself.

"Mate, you are rambling…don't worry we are just a portkey away…okay _maybe_ a couple of portkeys away. That's all, so go to sleep. Everything will be fine" Ron assured and Harry idly wondered if Ron was channeling Hermione!

The night went by with no sleep for Harry. He wanted to hold onto the bed and the curtains and the memories for as long as he could until he drifted off to sleep sometime early in the morning. But before he could slink further into sleep he was being awakened by Ron, much too soon in his opinion.

"It's time to wake up Harry. That man from Durmstrang will be here. You have to be ready" he heard Ron say as he shook him from his sleep. Realization crashed into his senses and he sat upright. Yes, today he was going to Durmstrang. For a moment he felt blind panic and fear and through the panic he heard Ron's voice "Mate it's alright. Everything is going to be fine…it will be okay" over and over again.

"Yes …yes of course" Harry said himself wondering if he was reassuring Ron or himself "you are right…I should get dressed" he muttered and rushed to do the same. In his haste, he missed the sadness on Ron's face as Ron moved to join Hermione in the common room as they had done the last few years.

They looked at each other not knowing what to say. This was not a moment that they had ever imagined "so how is he?" she asked. Ron still had a spaced out look as he roused himself to answer "well as can be, I suppose. I honestly don't know if it has hit him at all you know, he is way too calm" he said.

"True …all we can hope is that he has better luck where he goes than what he has had here" Hermione said with a sigh as Harry walked up to them to hear her words. "Amen" he said with a wry smile as Ron looked appropriately confused at the muggle term. "Shall we go?" he asked and the three of them fell into the practiced rhythm of each other's footsteps as they made their way to the Great Hall.

"Harry, have you taken enough potions in case you fall sick or something? And the wand holster we got you last Christmas…keep it on you at all times alright? Do be aware of your surroundings and if you feel something is not working right…just come back okay. We will think of something...and..." Hermione ranted until she was interrupted by Harry's hand on her shoulder.

He turned her to face him gently and kissed her gently on her head. "Mione..Shush. It's alright. I have been taking care of myself all my life. I will be okay and you two can come visit me anytime you know" he said enveloping her in a hug.

It was one of the rare times that he had initiated a hug and he felt gratified as Hermione clung onto his robes hiding her tears in his robes and her shoulders shook with the sobs.

"I hate him Harry…I hate Snape" she muttered against his robes and Harry felt both alarmed as well as touched that she would say this even though it was not in her character. "Please Hermione…this is not you. Please don't change because of me. Now look at me..." he urged gently lifting Hermione's head and gave her a smile. "Please don't be sad. I want you to be happy…I want to leave with the image of both of you smiling…now come on. You are supposed to cheer _me_ up!" he teased.

"Okay" the words came out garbled from Hermione but she followed it with a tentative smile. "Guys I am sorry to break up this touching moment but I am hungry" Ron butted in. Hermione glared at him but Harry smiled and started walking while pulling his friends along.

However the smile died on his lips as he walked into the Great hall which fell into silence with his arrival. He turned to the staff table and saw the tall blond man seated on the Headmaster's side. The stranger was dressed in dark blue robes and Harry was relieved to see that he looked friendly enough.

"That must be the person who has come to escort you Harry" Ron whispered needlessly. Harry nodded and shook himself from where he halted and made his way to his place on the table. Breakfast was a subdued affair as there were so many things to say but none seemed appropriate. Harry was caught in a maelstrom of thoughts and emotions as he went through the parody of a breakfast. His friends he knew were no better.

As he finished his breakfast, not wanting to acknowledge the nervousness that was steadily creeping upon him, the headmaster stood up in his seat. "I am happy to welcome Professor Mark Hodges from Durmstrang Institute to our school. He has come to escort Harry as you all know. We hope that he has had a comfortable journey and will prove to be a valuable mentor to our student in the coming years. We wish Harry luck and success on his new journey. Thank you".

Harry felt the eyes of every student turn to him even as he felt Hermione clutch his hand in a death grip. Reluctantly he extricated himself from her clutches and stood and Hermione stood up with him as he made his way to the staff table where the visiting Professor had come down to meet him halfway.

"Good morning. , I presume?" he asked extending his hand. Harry took the firm handshake with a "yes Sir" as the man asked "all set to go? I hope you have packed some warm clothing" he warned.

"Yes Sir I have…I just have to get my trunk from the room. I will be right back" Harry responded and turned to go but he was forestalled by Dumbledore who had joined them. "I will request one of the other students to get it Harry and also to fetch Hedwig from the owlery" he offered and gestured to Neville who left after a short conversation.

Harry took the time to slip in a couple of questions of his own "Sir…would it be possible to communicate with my friends from Durmstrang?" he asked. The man smiled, the creases on the side of his very blue eyes crumpling with the smile and Harry could not help return the gesture.

"Yes it is possible. You will have to use two or three owls very much like a relay. It will take longer than you are accustomed to but I am sure that you will get used to it in time" he responded. Harry felt the tightness in his chest release a bit with the knowledge that he could mail his friends at least. The break did not feel absolute with this small redemption.

"That's great Harry…so will you come back for the summer?" Ron commented as Neville returned with Harry's trunk in tow. He was accompanied by Dean Thomas who carried Hedwig in her cage. Harry turned to the man and raised the question of summer with him.

"The summer holidays come at a different time compared to here so you could come here but it will not coincide with their holidays." He answered the question and then before there could be any more questions from the group he gestured to the trunk "So shall we leave?".

Harry nodded and turned to his friends. He was immediately engulfed in a crushing hug as Hermione started crying again. Looking over her head he nodded to Neville and Dean as Ron moved forward and engulfed the both of them in a hug. Ron's eyes were suspiciously wet and for the first time words failed him. Dimly he nodded at Harry and gently prised Hermione off him.

Harry took the moment to shake hands with the Professors who wished him luck, coming to Dumbledore the last. He looked at him in the eye and nodded acknowledging his thanks and quickly averted his gaze from Snape. He had no wish to acknowledge the man. Granted that the simmering rage was no longer there but he could not bring himself to forgive the man either.

There was nothing more to be said and it was time to leave. Harry hefted his trunk, waved at the others like Ginny and the twins who had lingered mouthing "take care" and walked away from the Great Hall with the Professor. He dared not look back to neither see the tears falling copiously from Hermione's eyes as she clung to Ron nor see the tears in Ron's eyes as well.

His own heart felt heavy and he had to exert a lot of control to keep his own tears at bay as he followed the Professor to the apparition point. Some part of him was glad that no one had followed him out as it would make the break even more difficult. At the apparition point, he turned to see the castle standing tall and proud in the shimmering sun for the last time in the next many months. He had no time to acknowledge the nervous tattoo of his heartbeat as he felt the world falling away and he was whisked away from his home.

FINITE

 **Author notes:** My heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you who have followed the story from it's conception to it's finish. Your reviews have guided me, bolstered my spirit and have taught me many things new. I have been humbled by the love, acceptance and warmth that you have shown and I hope that I see more of you in my journeys in the future too.

I will now endeavour to finish my other fic and will think of a sequel to this only if I have requests for it. I might add a couple of add ons that will stand alone but that remains to be seen.

Thank you all once again. It's been a fantastic journey and I hope that I have not let any of you down in any way. Ciao. To endings and new beginnings!


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